Hello I'm new here and I don't want to seem like I'm whining or anything, but I need some advice.. I am 26 year old and I am taking care of my 71 year old grandmother.. I am the only one who has been taking care of her since I was 14 years old when everyone moved out. I do the cooking, cleaning, laundry , working, making her doctors appointments, medication, house and food shopping ,making meals etc.
I do not get out and have anytime for my self, the only time I have for my self is at work and at night when she is in bed. During the day before work and during my lunch break I'm making sure she is taken care of. As soon as I walk in the door the first thing she asks is what's for dinner. What are you cooking? If I sit down for a millisecond she starts throwing a fit telling me how I'm just like my mother. (whom I'm nothing like..)
If I'm even sick she tells me there's nothing wrong and that I need to get up and quit being lazy. Half my paycheck even goes to her, and if I don't give her enough, she starts to throw a fit and once again telling me that I'm like my mother and gets pissed off. And everything revolves around the two dogs that we have. Every moment I am not working and that I am home I spend it with her.
Trying to get her to take a bath is a chore. She can walk and do things for herself but she calls me to do everything for her. If I don't do it the first time she will ignore me and not speak to me for days at a time, especially if I want to do something if I go and do it, she will throw a fit and not speak to me for weeks at a time. I myself suffer from depression heavily and her actions do not help. I do anything and everything I can for this woman and she's extremely cruel to me. She lies to her other daughter that I don't do anything, And that all I do is stay in my room. Everyone believes her and people tell me I just need to suck it up because I owe her everything because she raised me from a baby... I don't know what to do.. I feel stuck... and no, I am not putting her in a nursing home or anything.
If I try to speak with her about these problems, she throws a fit and starts yelling about how she gave up her life for me. She volunteers me for everything including babysitting everyone else's kids when I have a full time job.. I get dragged and guilt tripped into everything. Anything I say I want to do in life like have kids my dream job, etc she puts me down and says I'll never do any of it. and that I'd be a terrible mother and all. All my friends are getting married having kids and graduating from college and getting their dream jobs ... I feel like I'm stuck and can't do anything right in her eyes...