Please help me,
We lost our mum 3 years ago. My dad was violent abusive and a drinker and very controlling. My dad has been hard work the last 3 years and getting worse daily, wanting to know everything I do, when, where, who with, wanting to come all the time, I'm now at a breaking point and I don't like him anymore but I love him, he's my dad. But I can't cope with his incessant texting all day long even when I'm working he is constantly asking what I'm doing, if I don't answer I get texts of , .....please please talk to me ....., please , say something. ....I take him out at least once a week, try to have him round for coffee, now once a week, it was daily but he wanted more. He is talking to my friends, my children, anyone! To find out what I'm doing and has started driving past my house because he thinks I am lying if I say I am out. I feel like crying and am losing the will to even respond. I take him away in the caravan every month for a few days. He is always and always has put me down, laughs at me, laughs when I struggle, laughs at my kids, laughs at my husband , I am 54 , the other day he told my daughter I'm nothing, I've never achieved anything. All my life I have struggled to try to be the best. My older brother is useless, always been allowed to do nothing. I was the one who had to be clever, get good jobs, achieve achieve achieve, and still I'm nothing.
He has my 25 year old daughter going round daily with a new baby doing his jobs, and he is so nasty to her. When I don't answer him, he calls her. I have tried being nice, I have tried understanding his age, his illness, his loneliness, his fears, his everything, and I've explained to him I fit him in when I can and each time he apologises and then the next day he does it all over again but worse. Now my answers are curt, short, no or maybe, I have no compassion to explain in loving words because I'm so tired of each time I meet his goal post, he moves it.
He has idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis and as yet , does not use oxygen although he has it. Yes I know he is scared , yes I know it must be awful losing the life you had, but I have tried to replace my mum and I can't put up with it. It's exhausting me and my daughter. We must get over a 100 texts a day . The other night I had done a 22 hour shift and I hadn't had time to read his texts, I work with acquired brain injured adults. He rang my daughter at 11.30 at night and woke the baby and her partner up and told her if he didn't get a response from me, he was going to drive to my house and get the whole street up. It's all going a bit mad and he is raising the bar with his crazy responses.
Please advise me. When I Get a text a off him now , it immediately makes me hate him ( but I don't ) tonight I've had to block him because I've been told he is not putting up with my nastiness and he has had enough because he wanted to add strangers on Facebook and I said you can't just talk to everyone. I said I agree dad, I'm tired of the nastiness now too, it's been getting nasty the last few weeks cos im tired now of the effort of nice long drawn out explanations and offerings that I can offer when I'm not working. So tonight he phoned my daughter and told her I've cut him out of my life. We get this all the time 😒 I've tried everything , now I'm feel lost. Julie