Sister with disabilities - MI & Stroke Survivor.
The Past: I would take Sister out, drive her. Help to toilet if required. Social company with a bit of walking supervision.
Now: Sister needs organisation for outing done for her. Walks VERY unsteadily with a walking stick. Car to be parked close as possible to door each end. Avoid all steps & ramps if possible too. Can not/will not get legs in car, or sit in seat properly. Incontinent. Cannot manage/change. Requires help with clothing in bathroom, sometimes cleanup too. Sometimes need to go home as clothing wet. Prefers not to use wheelchair. Too heavy for me to push or lift wheelchair into car.
Had advised family her care needs are now beyond me at start of year. A FREE govt service is provided with Support Workers to accompany her (need to pre-book). Amazing but true.
My strategy has been to only visit her at home this year.
She arrived by taxi to visit Mum in respite care, knowing I would be there. Then couldn't walk the distance & so I found a wheelchair. Needed help in bathroom. I had to clean the wheelchair before returning.
I have invited her to my D's birthday. (Didn't offer to drive her though). She is planning to arrive by taxi with NO support worker. I chose it as local to everyone, with no steps ramp but I know she needs help to walk to the toilets. Can't ask my in-laws or my kids. DH says nope (rightly so).
Btw she falls every 4-6 weeks are we are unable to get her up - it's emergency services every time.
I just want my D to have a nice extended family birthday lunch.