...such siblings deserve the resentment they get. Functional families kick in money from afar for services rendered, whether by "professionals" or kin. Words of gratitude are like the "thoughts 'n prayers" after mass shootings that achieve nothing. I think the idea the caregiver made a "choice" is cheap pop psychology that denies that someone -- or many -- must step up to the plate. If some do not, but apply heaps of "How's mom?"s, the grins on their faces when confronted with their apathy are telling and should be seen for what they are: strangleholds. It's sad that our parents didn't want us to be this way, but it's even sadder if we lose so much dignity as to blame ourselves for making the noble "choice" of caring and then being abandoned by one's brothers and sisters for making this "choice".