I am a co-caregiver of both parents in a multigenerational household. Despite intentions otherwise, the other caregiver is unable to “give care” most of the time. I do not have to be here. I have my own home. Yet I came to help. Explanations are many as to why caregiving cannot be a priority for them. Yet. If I was not here life would go on and verrrrrry basic caregiving would happen. I am torn.
Is that what’s going on?
Here's another one: you don't have to be the way, you can just show them the way.
If your other home includes a spouse or kids or both, please remember they are the priority. Your parents can pay for in-home care if the other malingerer doesn't step up ever. But I'm pretty sure they will... once they're the only caregiver there.
But...maybe the other caregiver is burning out and that's why you showed up to help? Maybe a different permanent solution is in order.