Does someone with dementia ever "settle down" and come to grips with loss of memory? Do I tell her when she doesn't remember something?

People with dementia don't know that their brain is malfunctioning, and they forget that they forget! So, all we can do is manage the disease the best way we know how. They don't realize what really is happening to them, or what the disease is doing to the family. It is a cruel disease and hard on everyone evolve.

I don't think they ever come to grips with loss of memory because the disease they suffer from takes that ability away from them. They also will never remember if it is explained. Trying to get them to understand will likely just be a frustrating routine without end. Deflect, brush it off and change the subject to something non-confrontational. For example next time she mentions something not true perhaps reply "Oh, really? Guess we better look into that" and immediately bring up something like the cute trick your dog just learned or how well the flowers are blooming in your garden. Then oops something is boiling on the stove so you must go for now. This disease is hard on both of you, but maybe try a few work-arounds and see what works.

Yes. You just have to go with the flow

We tell people in your situations that people who suffer with dementia have brains that are broken. There is no “settling down” and no coming to grips with what’s going on with them. They are lost in a world they don’t understand. They don’t understand what’s happened to their world as they knew it. My mother suffered with severe hallucinations and delusions. When she claimed that the “family” who owned her facility had moved the entire facility, buildings, residents, outside scenery and everything else to Russia overnight, there was no way I even thought of convincing her otherwise.

She will call you and ask you to repeat what you’ve just told her 2 minutes or 2 days ago. There is no “comeback” and certainly no trying to convince her that her delusions aren’t true. It’s frustrating for both of you. She isn’t doing this to annoy or frustrate you. Re-explain to her what she’s asking even if it’s 10 times in an hour. This is a cruel disease. The best we can do is handle it one day, one hour at a time.