My wife is dementia/ischemic stroke, mostly disabled, very hard to get her out. We are both 74. My whole summer is tied up. I feel trapped here and I do not like it.
This forum is an emotional life saver for me. Everyone has encouraging words and thoughts to share, and I feel supported on this forum. Thanks for the encouraging words. After thinking about it I feel more isolated than trapped. Trapped is not a healthy word to use. I can do more about the isolation but I have not yet, out of guilt, I suppose. You guys are right, it will get much worse, and it is time for me to make some changes, out of respect for my wife's safety and well being, but also out of respect for my own safety and well being. One wrong move, one fall out of trying to be everything to her, and I know I am done, if I break a bone or injure myself, and her care at home is done as well.
Reading your post and your profile, I'm now less sure what would be helpful. You're working from home (part-time, if you're easing off into retirement?) because of the pandemic - plus you're in NYC, which I understand has been very hard-hit - but you also feel you can't leave your wife to get out and about. So is it the Covid restrictions or your wife's condition that are the main obstacle, or is it the double-whammy that's more getting you down?
You *are* isolated, trapped in that way, but you are so far from alone! Do you currently have anyone coming to the house to support you and your wife? What size blocks of time would be most useful to you?
You feel trapped because you are trapped. Most caregivers, if not all feel or have felt like you are feeling.
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. It hurts to see those we love decline. It is very hard to become a full time caregiver. It’s stressful and is physically and emotionally exhausting, not to mention feeling isolated.
I would either look into hiring someone to help with your caregiver duties or consider placement in a facility. Speak with a social worker about options that will help. How long have you been your wife’s caregiver?
Wishing you peace as you navigate your way through this difficult time in your life.
You need to create blocks of free time so you can continue living life and getting relief from the stresses of caregiving since you are both "only" 74. Have you explored hiring in-home help from an agency or contacting social services to see if she qualifies for any in-home assistance? Contacting your local area's Agency on Aging for resources would be a good start.
You *are* isolated, trapped in that way, but you are so far from alone! Do you currently have anyone coming to the house to support you and your wife? What size blocks of time would be most useful to you?
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. It hurts to see those we love decline. It is very hard to become a full time caregiver. It’s stressful and is physically and emotionally exhausting, not to mention feeling isolated.
I would either look into hiring someone to help with your caregiver duties or consider placement in a facility. Speak with a social worker about options that will help. How long have you been your wife’s caregiver?
Wishing you peace as you navigate your way through this difficult time in your life.