He is 86 and my wife and me do everything for him. When we need to go away for a weekend, he pretends to take an overdose of paracetamols and ends up (again,) in hospital. He then refuses to eat and drink and goes into his "confused" mode. He hopes it will persuade the wife to cancel the trip away. It's becoming embarrassing for the NHS who really have had enough, as we have. He has been checked from head to toe and there is nothing physically and mentally wrong with him.We find it selfish and cruel on the people who give everything they can.

Just curious, how is he getting pain medication if he is in a NH?

My dad couldn't have tylenol in his room in AL.

I would stop telling him you are going away. Don't visit everyday and let him get use to you guys not being available all the time.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal

Clearly he doesn’t need access to meds. And he also needs an assessment to figure out his intense fear and how to help it. And if you do “everything” for him, but also state he’s well mentally and physically, then perhaps you’ve unintentionally made him too dependent on you, and he’d benefit by doing more for himself on a regular basis to build his confidence and see he can again rely on himself?
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Reply to Daughterof1930

Hi oceansized
please take your dad to a neurologist and have him tested. He needs help with his anxiety which can be excruciating. Sometimes we are so close to the situation that we can’t see what is happening.
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Reply to 97yroldmom

86 year old men of sound mind and in good mental health do not make what are called "parasuicide" attempts (cries for help, as they used to be called).

Could you say a little more about your - your? Your wife's? - father, such as where he is living and what sort of support the two of you are providing for him?

For a start - where's he getting the paracetamol?
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Reply to Countrymouse

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