My mother needs to be moved from ALF to Memory Care due to progression of dementia. Am working with her doctor and social worker with the messaging however, there is an estranged sibling out there that has had an on/off relationship with mother. Since progression on dementia, sibling has been more engaged....calls her daily and visits occasionally. Sibling has history of mean spirited behavior and hates my sister and I. I am mothers POA and have been caring for her for 10 yrs. Estranged sibling has turned me into adult protective services and filed complaints with Ombudsman in the past. Have been investigate up, down, sideways, every which way. Sibling will never give up.
Given mother's mental health, dementia state and physical health, I am thinking of not telling estranged sister about mother's move until after mother is able to adjust. This is advice I am getting from ALF and am waiting to finalize the plan with social worker. This will not be an easy move. My mother's material possessions are now very important to her---something that has changed dramatically since estranged sibling re-entered her life.
I will need to empty her existing apartment and because estranged sibling is so materialistic, I am more than willing to let her come and take whatever she wants (minus what we will move to mother's new room). I don't care about the material things....I just want to minimize sibling's ability to cause undue stress and anxiety with mother especially while adjusting to new environment.
Anyone with experience? Advise?