My step-father is an alcoholic and currently resides in an assisted-living situation. He is nearly blind and is declining every day. I live here in MT and am close with him. I call him and every day he seems more depressed. His health is declining and I feel helpless. I have two siblings that have been involved but they are totally frustrated as he continues to stay isolated and drinks. They feel that he has everything that he needs and quite frankly he does but he wants that companionship and person to take care of him. I have contacted several agencies that will help him get to doctor appointments, clean his apartment and even bathe him but he does not access these services. He was married to my mom for over 40 years until she left him and then had a companion for 6 years before she passed away. He has always had a woman to be with him and at 79 y/o he still wants a companion. Problem is he stays in and doesn't go out; he is in his own miserable world sleeping 20+ hours a day.

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The AL does not do a buddy system, let alone much else than collect rent. Thank you so much both of your for your responses. It is important to hear that I should not feel like I am responsible for his happiness; although I wish I could do something more for him. We have all tried but he remains stubborn that he wants a woman who will take care of him and love him too!
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Pam's suggestions are both good ones, and I hope they will work for your stepfather too.

But in case they don't: I'm sorry for your stepfather but don't let his misery become yours. Sleeping 20 hours a day might be a symptom of depression but it might also be declining health and energy as he enters his last lap, so to speak. You and your siblings have made sure his needs have been met. You are not, repeat not, responsible for his happiness. Let the ALF do its job.
Helpful Answer (1)

See the DON and get them to assign a "buddy" who will get him to attend activities at the AL. This worked well for my MIL. If you go there when activities are on, accompany him to the event rather than stay in his room.
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