What should I do about my possibly mentally ill grandmother?

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So my nana was completely okay before my tata passed away in 2012. Four years later she is still grieving. Completely understandable, but she should be somewhat better right? And I thought she was okay. But she has been doing very odd stuff within the last couple of years. During the summer of 2013, I would wake up in the middle of night with her just standing in the middle of my bedroom, staring at me. I would wake up because she would be giggling. This happened on multiple occasions and, well, it did annoy me considering I have trouble falling asleep to begin with. In 2014 or 2015, she said she had a dream where God was telling her that she was originally created to be an angel, but she was sent to earth because her and my tata were soulmates. Now she is claiming she is an empath, where she can feel other people's emotions and sometimes hear their thoughts. She says that's why people like her so much, why they feel comfortable sharing personal details about themselves with her despite being a stranger. There is a whole lot of information about empaths online, but I am still rather skeptical. Yesterday, she claimed to see my tata standing right next to my neighbor's vehicle. Right after that incident, she handed my brother her guns because she was afraid to have them nearby. Of course my family and I assumed that she might have suicidal thoughts because she never had problems with the guns before (we keep them for safety because my cousin has broken in and stole a bunch of our belongings since she was/is a drug addict). She seems to think she has a very powerful mind. She said when she was a teenager she saw a raven fly by and she somehow left her body and was the raven for a few minutes. She claims it was a scary experience and hopes to never go through that again. She also claims to have seen the spirit of her grandmother "rise" and she knew that her grandmother was going to die that night, which her grandmother did. A part of me believes she is just gifted, but another part of me believes that she might be insane. After she saw my grandfather yesterday, she lied that my brother said it was probably her new medication that was causing her to hallucinate. She claimed he said that because he is a nurse so he has experience with medications and its symptoms, but he never said that. I guess she was banging on my stepmom's door and when my stepmom opened it, my nana was just mumbling about different things. Right after that she handed her guns to my brother and was saying that she needs to have all our family and family friends right here, right now. Then she called my dad, told him she was moving out and he was confused of course. He comes home a few hours later so he can talk with her, she's confronting him, telling him he is controlling and it's all his fault. He can be controlling sometimes (more overprotective, if anything) and he does get random bouts of rage but always apologizes afterwards and even then he doesn't get super mad (only yells) but he has PTSD. My grandmother was making out my dad to be this horrible guy, but she just didn't want to talk about herself and about the help she really needs to seek out. We want her to get help. We took her to the hospital just a month or two ago because she had a nervous breakdown and the doctor even advised to seek out a counselor. But she insists that talking to a professional won't bring back my tata, which is true but right now I am pretty much her therapist. She just switched doctors and her new doctor did take her off Zoloft and back on Prozac, could this be the reason why she saw my tata? For the record, she does get panic attacks and that's why she is taking the Prozac (also has a case of PTSD because she is traumatized from taking care of my grandfather when he was gravely ill). She's packing her bags and going to move in with her boyfriend. However, I think she really needs to seek out medical help but I truly don't know how to get the help she needs if she is not going to comply. She is only 64 years old. I'm sorry if this is so jumbled up, there is just so much to mention.

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That's not a bad idea, tinanicole. Are you familiar with your nana's primary care doctor, have you met him before? If not, getting a name and number and calling could be a start. In my experience, most doctors are too busy to talk on the phone during office hours, so writing a letter detailing the issues you're seeing and dropping it off at the office would probably be better. If your nana's doc is any good, they'll likely schedule her some appointments to have her evaluated and you can ask that they keep your letter out of it. Docs who work with geriatric patients have seen these issues before and should know what to do for further testing. I wish you the best of luck and good job on looking out for her.
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OP here: I was given more details about what happened the other day. Turns out she not only claimed to see my grandfather, but she also said she was talking with him. My dad hardly spoke with her that morning, but she is claiming that both my grandfather and father were yelling at her. I spoke with her about it and she said she felt like she was going crazy during the incident (but not anymore since she claims to be in a normal state of mind now) and that we were all telling her how she was feeling. We were only telling her she needs to talk to her doctor about her new medication and to please start considering counseling because claiming to see and talk to my late tata is quite odd, even if it is due to her medication. However, I’m not a professional, so I probably shouldn’t have said that. However, she spoke with her doctor about a month ago about how she speaks to someone from the church instead of going to a psychiatrist (she made it sound like she spoke with the pastor regularly but it was once, maybe twice tops). So now whenever we bring up her going to see a professional, she says her doctor says it’s unnecessary since he understands she talks to someone from the church.

I forgot to mention this in the first post, but she almost overdosed on her heart medicine back in 2012 shortly after my grandfather’s passing. My mother was visiting at the time, and apparently she cut up some bitter melon and my nana accused my mother of putting a ton of her heart medicine in there because the melon taste would have disguised the medicine’s taste. She was basically saying my mom was trying to kill her. The doctor at the hospital claimed that had I called 911 any later, she probably would’ve fallen into a coma so she must have consumed a lot of medication.

About my nana’s boyfriend: he’s a nice guy for the most part and is a little slow due to being a terrible car wreck about 15/16 years ago. Apparently his heart stopped three times and it’s a miracle that he is alive right now. From what I have seen, he’s a bit controlling. Because my nana has such a small appetite now, she doesn’t eat a whole lot but he will literally force a spoonful of food into her mouth despite her saying “I’m full.” I think she just has a whole lot of pity for him. They go way back, she was best friends with his mother back in the late 70s/early 80s (there is only a 12 year difference between my nana and her boyfriend by the way). So she sees a whole lot of her best friend in him and then there’s the car crash. She claims he doesn’t know how to take care of himself and he needs her. They have been together for a little over a year now. They visited each other last year after not seeing each other since she was in her mid-20s and him a teenager. Then a couple of weeks later, he says he loves her and she says she loves him and from then on, they’ve been saying that they are married.

Grapes and peanuts is her go-to food because she claims that’s all she needs to receive the proper amount of nutrients. I know this can’t be true, but at least she does eat dinner sometimes. I spoke with her about two weeks ago about maybe trying other snacks. She agreed on peanut butter jelly sandwiches, as long as I got the kind of bread that is heavy and contains seeds and extra crunchy peanut butter.

She does not want help. She would not agree to me taking her to the doctor and speaking to him about her odd behavior. Should I just get his number and speak to him there? I know that’s sneaky, but I just do not know what to do.

Thank you all for your help, this is greatly appreciated.
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It sounds to me like she's probably mostly delusional, which would override her gift. Definitely have her involuntarily committed for a while, she probably has a chemical imbalance in the brain. Chemical imbalance is easily correctable by a medical professional who specializes in internal medicine or even proper nutrition. Definitely get her evaluated, but meanwhile, lock your bedroom door at night. It's very creepy to wake up to someone standing over you, especially in the middle of the night and especially more so if you don't know what they're going to do. Your description of her being afraid of having guns around is actually a warning sign that she may not even trust herself around guns. You definitely need to get her out of there before she has a chance to grab one of those guns and shoot someone. She was expressing her fear of having the guns around, and that was her cry for help but it sounds like you didn't see it. Please listen to that cry for help before it's too late and get her the help she needs
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I know you are concerned about your grandmother, but you should take her to her primary doctor and then make a list of things that have been happening since 2013, the odd behavior alone will warrant an evaluation. However the primary should suggest an mental evaluation to let a psychiatrist make the suggestion about whether or not she should be hospitalized. And if the physical side of her behavior, not eating, the weight loss, etc, she should be evaluated by her primary to rule out any other problems, diseases, lack of vitamins, her hormones, brain tumor. It could be any of a number of things. I know of someone who has gone through something so similar that I thought this was about her. But I know it isn't but she was evaluated at an Emergency Room and then she was railroaded into a psychiatric hospital. Don't let that happen, Take control of the situation, and please make an appointment with her primary and be sure to tell her that she is just going in to get a physical and then and that should explain all the necessary tests that they will do. Make sure the doctor doesn't upset your grandmother but let her know you are concern about her health and welfare. And that you want to take care of her but you are not a nurse or doctor and you feel that this is the only way to go. I wish you the best with your grandmother and we are always here to help in any way we can. We can only give your our suggestions, our opinions, and hope that you will make the choice that is best for your grandmother and we are all concern when one of aging seniors has a emotional problem or health concern. We are praying that your grandmother gets better, but if not please do consult her own primary doctor and let us know how she is doing cause we are concern and we do want to help any way we can. God Bless you for caring for your grandmother.
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The things you wrote reminded me of Shirley McClaine and what we call a schizotypal personality. People with this personality type tend to see things in different ways and look for magical meanings in life. Usually it is enjoyable to them, though can look odd to people around them. The only thing you wrote that concerned me is her standing in your bedroom. That was odd. I wonder if she had gotten lost in the night. If you think that she is going into the beyond side, then talk to the doctor. Medications for things like this are usually rather strong, so shouldn't be taken unless there is a serious problem.

Humans actually do a lot of magical thinking. If we seriously think about our religions, we see it in ourselves. Spiritualists who believe in energy and special mental abilities are really not so different. It can be fun to dabble in this type things. Unless it is extreme, I wouldn't worry.

I do wonder the why of grapes and peanuts. It would be nice if you could get her to throw some daily bread and eggs and veggies into the mix. Peanuts and grapes are healthy, but not so good for staying regular. I'm surprised she isn't totally constipated.
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This sounds like a psychotic episode, and I would call 911 and have her taken to a psych hospital for a 72 hr. hold to be evaluated. She clearly needs a psychiatric work up and diagnosis. Get help now!
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She needs a medical and psychiatric evaluation in my opinion. If the behavior is bizarre and so long standing, take her to the hospital and go from there. What else can a person do? In my opinion only, if she refuses you may have to call the police and get her Baked Acted because bizarre behavior may become a danger to herself. If a person can't make a rational decision, someone has to step in on their behalf. Then you will have to deal with psychiatric evaluation if she's capable of making her own decisions and who will be legal guardian if she can't. Maybe her behavior is treatable.
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Your letter shows you to be a wonderfully kind and concerned granddaughter. Your father must also be experiencing a very difficult time dealing with your grandmother's grandiose beliefs about herself. You rightly describe her behaviors as possible medication complications and/or a depressed and lonely cry for attention. A 'Family Crisis Counselor' aided my own family through a very difficult time with the bipolar spouse of a brother dying from brain cancer. Your father, your grandmother, and you should attend. Although a counselor will not bring back her beloved husband, tell her that counseling will help determine if there is a medication problem. It may also help her to find the strength in herself to face her future without the fear. Counseling may help her find the strength to make decisions she previously depended on her husband to help her make. Counseling may help her better appreciate her caregivers, your father and you. You give little information about her boyfriend? Is he a positive or negative influence on your grandmother and family? He may also be seeing these problems and could help by encouraging her to speak with a counselor.
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Follow your instinct. If you think she needs medical help/an evaluation make an appointment, go with her and talk to the medical provider - list your concerns on paper with specifics so you go through all of them and get answers. You can not be prevented from taking her for medical care/evaluation. If anyone tries to prevent this they are not looking after her best interest. There is a lot going on here. One step at a time. Stay strong. Don't give up. Keep us posted.
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This is OP again adding additional comments: my nana does not eat. Or she eats very little. She was 150 pounds in 2012, but dropped 20 pounds within a year just due to eating much less. She is down to 120-125. Complains about feeling weak and I don't feel comfortable interfering so I let my dad handle it. Then she gets mad that she is being controlled. All she does is eat grapes and peanuts. My dad can be controlling. My dad can have a "rough" voice, kinda mean sounding I guess. He was in the law enforcement field in the navy so sometimes he uses his interrogation voice on us, but I don't think it's intentional. She claims he is emotionally abusive, but I hear the way he talks to her (during the times she claims he's emotionally abusive) and he is just trying to get her to do stuff. All she does is take naps all day (claims to either be too weak or to get away from my dad because he is abusive), or she watches tv, or she is writing to my grandfather.
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