Can’t take care of spouse any longer. What recourse do I have in protecting my family and him too?


My husband has dementia and other mental health issue he is in the VA hospital mental ward. Every since he keeps asking for his lawyer they want me to come and get him he is Vera Leo and at times physical abusive. They say I can’t take care of him and I don’t want to anymore. He has choked one of the nurse at the VA hospital they know he is aggressive. I have quit my job to take care of him but I realize I can’t. They say they are going to release him. I keep telling them I am not picking him up or staying in home with him. What recourse do I have in protecting my family and him too?

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@justlost63, I am so sorry for your predicament. My mother who is 86 and has suffered from paranoid schizophrenia for 35 years is now at home with my sister being her caregiver. Although she has been on meds, but they seem to have lost all effectiveness with her. She talks all day long at a high volume, accuses us of spitting into her food and other delusional wrongdoings we have committed against her, and she is mentally and emotionally detached with no ability to connect with family members. We do not know what to do with her since we are not certain any facilities would accept someone with her disabilities for fear she may get "kicked out" for her uncontrollable loud "conversations"...
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Reply to Emely57

Dear justlost63,

I'm very sorry to hear about your husband's condition. Have you tried talking to a social worker? I hope they can connect you with more options and resources in the community.
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Reply to cdnreader

You can refuse to take him home saying there is no one to take care of him. They will be forced to find somewhere that will take him - somewhere that can handle his needs.
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Reply to Kimber166