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Mother is in hospice care. Stepfather is very ill. They do not have a will. Beneficiary on everything is each other. I am caregiver for both. How do I get my name on accounts and have beneficiary changed? If my mother passes, it all goes to my stepfather. If stepfather passes, I assume his next of kin will inherit everything.

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Do you mean they WISH their belongs are left to each other?

Or do you refer to 'intestate' laws? Where assets usually pass to next of kin, in an order set by law. Usually in order of legal spouse, recognised adult children, siblings.

"How do I get my name on accounts and have beneficiary changed". You don't. It is bestowed on you IF they wish it, have capacity to decide legal matters & sign legal paperwork.

Tread with care. Coersive behaviour of vulnerable people & elder financial abuse are serious matters, as they need to be.
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Reply to Beatty
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Don't make assumptions. I was curious about this scenario so I did a search for my own state. In MN: if my Mom passes first, her estate will be SPLIT between her biological and adopted children and her current husband. Once her husband passes after her, all that is left will go to his biological and adopted children and NOT to his step-children. If step-father passes first, then the reverse is in play: estate is split between his surviving wife and his bio and adopted children. Then when she passes, only her bio and adopted children are inheritors. But the laws of succession differ by state so you can do an AI search for info specific to your parents' state of residence. Without a Will and if their assets and possessions are such that probate is required, then someone can step up to apply to be the Executor and eventually Personal Representative -- but there are forms to file and fees to be paid if you do this yourself. I'm in that process right now, but with an attorney because it is happening long-distance in another state. Regarding adding any names to their bank accounts or beneficiaries, it doesn't sound like they have legal capacity to do that now, but an elder law attorney could assess them for this, and your parents would need to want to do it, they cannot be coerced. Attorneys also assess for coercion.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Geaton is correct. How an estate is divided goes according to state law.

HOWEVER, if there is ONLY the one account, and it is co-owned by the mom and her husband, then everything in that account will belong to the remaining party.

If you are the caregiver here you are missing a caregiving contract. See and elder law attorney. If Mom and stepdad are competent things can be changed. If they no longer are competent then things can't be easily altered, but you should be POA if that is the case, or guardian of at least you mother. You need to see an attorney to work out the options in your own unique case here.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Please consult an estate lawyer asap and explain your situation.

Normally when’s there’s no Will or Trust, the estate goes through Probate Court, and some point the next of kin has first rights.

’I wish you the best…’
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Reply to Wisdom7
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Trying, are either of them able to go to the bank with you and put you on the accounts as a joint account holder? That's what I would try to get done, this allows you to use their money for their needs and, hopefully, for you to get some return on what you paid from your own pocket.

This sounds like such a terrible situation for all of you. May The Lord give you strength, guidance and wisdom to do what you are doing. Remember to keep an eye on your own health and well-being while you walk this path.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Reading this saddens me. Many are afraid to put beneficiaries on accounts and other finances. This only leaves children in a frantic state, feeling angry and helpless.
In actuality, this is extremely helpful to aid in care for their parents. This gives them a degree of control . The POA is like gold when you have to go to the bank or as a matter of fact do anything.
i have so learned when I had my husband’s POA and tried to close an account with only a $1000. I was there for 2 hrs.and had an appointment.
I am not sure what paperwork you may have signed for Mom to be in a SNF and now hospice. Is she on MEDICAID? If there are no beneficiaries on her half of the estate, then it belongs to Medicaid. You really need a Medicaid elder lawyer for Dad and like yesterday . hustle my dear hustle !!
Arbitrary forms are dangerous .. they make you financially liable .
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Reply to ShellieTired
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LaurieEV Jun 15, 2025
So if my mom dies in a Nursing home and is on Medicaid, they will take her savings account?!
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I can't imagine the anxiety and stress this situation is causing you. I remember when my dad was palliative but still able to remain at home before going into palliative hospital care, he had a large bank account in his name only so we (my brother and I) wanted it to pass over to my mom when he passed. Dad was only able to draw an x. He could not sign anymore. He had cancer. So we asked a representative from the bank to come to our house to witness my dad's wishes of passing the account onto my mom. Helps even more if somebody at the bank is familiar with him or mom. Don't worry. I think you'll find a resolution to this.
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Reply to Vito8675309
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I had similar issues because my parents never had a plan. Life would have been easier for their daughters if good decisions were made before their health issues reached a crisis stage.

I would consult an elder care lawyer to see what can be done. That’s what my family did.

If I can get through this, you can too. Best of luck,
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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Trying2x: Retain an attorney.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Call an Elder Law attorney. Both are in a position they cannot legally sign a document. Had a brother try to change documents at my father's bank and it was illegal since had dementia. Very tough situation but the attorney will hopefully be able to help you.
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Reply to Greeneyes60
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