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My parents are caring for my father's 70 year old sister. She has osteoporosis and has broken bones 3 times in the last 2 years. Plus she's had surgeries on a knee and foot. She's in rehab for the 3rd time. She will not listen to doctor's orders on what she should not do and takes her meds as she chooses, throwing away what she doesn't want and doubling or tripling others. We think she's having memory issues. She gives money and personal info over the phone to strangers. She's very demanding. Her doctor won't recommend an evaluation for her memory. He's no help on any of it.

My father has a seizure disorder that impares his thinking, and he has pain and a limp from an accident. My mother has a list of health issues and was recently diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. Neither of them can drive. I have to help them monthly to handle their finances and go to all of their appointments with them now. My mothers doctor said she is in no condition to take care of someone else.

My aunt refuses to go into nursing home. She wants my parents to care for her. She's in rehab now, and we can't make her understand that they can't do it anymore. She won't listen.

All three of them are falling on me in someway or another, since none can drive. I have a family of my own with a child with epilepsy. I've moved so we have room for my parents when they need full time care. I don't think I can take all of them, and my parents are wearing out.

Please tell me what I can do.

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You flatly refuse to accept responsibility for your aunt when her discharge date arrives, pointing out at the same time that your father's seizures and your mother's Alzheimers diagnosis mean that they cannot accept responsibility for her care either. The rehab facility cannot discharge your aunt to an unsafe setting. They will need to find an alternative placement for her.

And never fret, they will consult her about it, they won't bodily carry her into a place she hates. But the option of her landing on your parents again won't be available, that's all.
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No you can't force someone who has not been declared incompetent into a Nursing Home. What you can do is not to provide her with an alternative. Talk to the social worker at rehab and explain the situation. 70 ia not very old and your aunt may have many years ahead of her.
Think very very carefully about caretaking your parents in your home. Can you handle someone 24/7 with dementia. it is far from a walk in the park never mind how much you love them. Can you find a geriatric physiciatist for your aunt who may be able to manage her better. At least while she is in rehab she can't mess with her medications.
You have a son with epilepsy who is your priority so don't short change him and jeapodise his chances for a normal life.
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While they can't force your aunt to stay, they also can't force your parents to take her home. The medical folks are dangling the carrot (have a social worker to help get her evaluated!) seem feasible ONLY so that she is no longer the rehab place's responsibility.

Don't let your parents fall for it! The strongest case your parents can make to not take your aunt home is NOW. They cannot care for her, and she cannot be released to an unsafe environment. (The medical folks probably think that YOU will take care of her.) Do NOT let them push your aunt off on your aging parents with their own medical issues!
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your parents need to refuse to pick her up
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By the way, do you have powers of attorney set up for your parents? Don't let the grass grow, if not.
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If she is taking the meds while in rehab she might seem manageable to those who don't know her normal behavior.
You must listen to the solid advice you are being given here.
Do not pick her up. Do not allow her back to your parents home.
This is an opportunity for you to gain some control of this situation. If you allow her back with parents you will have to wait for another event. You already know she isn't going to leave (your parents) on her own.
Tell the rehab that the social worker needs to come to the rehab now to evaluate her for placement if they want her out in a week. Tell them your parents don't drive and you aren't picking aunt up.
Don't lose this opportunity to make all their lives more manageable.
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I agree with all of the above. They can't force you, or your parents, to come pick her up. The word "No" is a complete sentence. If you pick her up now, then you don't have much of a case later when you say that you or your parents can't care for her, since she will already have been with you awhile. You can't care for her NOW, so simply refuse to pick her up. The social worker will find a solution.
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Of course Aunt wants the environment she is used to and can be irresponsible in.

Of course the facility wants Aunt picked up and removed from their responsibility.

I want all my meals prepared by a professional chef and delivered hot to my home.

As my mother said (as a mantra sometimes), "You can't always get what you want."

Stand firm. Encourage your parents to stand firm. Aunt CANNOT return to their house, for everyone's safety.
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Casie, you'll have to forgive the British English vulgarity but the rehab centre has this arse-about-face: assessment must come before discharge, not after.

And during the assessment, you make clear that the living situation your aunt is so fond of no longer exists on account of the failing health of your parents. Therefore this home, which is your parents' and not your aunt's, is not an option and she can no more be discharged to that address than she can be discharged to the moon.
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You and your parents stand firm! You or they CANNOT be forced to pick her up - it would be an unsafe discharge! After all, she is not a minor child, not under a guardianship. In a sense she has the same status as a stranger to your family. So they cannot force you to do anything. Make that clear. You are caring for a sick child and that comes first. There should be no argument about that. By forcing the issue now, it may be possible to find a good fit for your aunt going onwards. If she is 70, then she probably has years ahead and should make rational arrangements now, not shove the whole problem off indefinitely which accomplishes nothing worthwhile. This is a precipitating event - make the most of it!
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