We are paying for skilled nursing 8 hrs a day, 5 days a week. She sleeps a lot, so this works well during the week. However, on the weekends, she calls 911 and the ambulance comes.
Physically, she’s fine. My brother has her healthcare POA. She has an appointment with the psychiatrist in July. She throws things at the nurses, spits on them, and exhibits other unacceptable behavior.
We would like her to be in a facility. Her behavior has been documented by her long-term care provider and the nurses. What can my brother do to get her into a facility?
Your brother will then assess all the finances and will begin tours of MC facilities or Nursing homes and speak with them about getting her into care.
Then, ask her doctor to make the referral.
Then, take her there.
Is your Mother independant?
She is living her way in her home, yes? But is she INDEPENDANT?
Independant with ADLs? Bills? Taking medicine? Arranging appointments? Transport?
(If she needs help with a lot of the above but can independantly arrange it - that's still independant).
Seems Mother is living in her home, totally DEPENDANT on yourself & your Brother.
Therefore, as soon as ONE of you says stop, it will fall 100% on the other. Then either you or your Brother will need to decide.
Continue or stop.
The weekends are no longer working. So obtaining care over the weekends as well is the next logical step. Either informally: family providing morning & night welfare checks. Or step it up with formal help: paid aides for set shifts.
At some stage *living at home* becomes *living at home as long as possible*.
Your Brother & you can discuss what the *possible vs not possible* looks like. Warning: siblings don't always agree!
Is she diagnosed with dementia?
Is she on medication?
If sounds like you are asking us how to contact a facility to have her accepted into a memory care unit?
She should not be alone; certainly not have access to call 911.
Until you get her into a facility, she needs 24/7.
No phone, no computer, no access to calling her bank or 911.
"If" she has a phone, it needs to be programmed for specific callers / calls out.
If the issue is her resistance, you do what she needs period. You do not listen to her. With dementia, she doesn't have the brain functioning to make these decisions for herself. You do not argue. You tell her she's going for a ride ... out to lunch ... to visit one of her (or your) friends... then she is admitted.
She needs to be medicated. Her behavior is not acceptable. Period.
Facilities are experienced with these behaviors.
They know how to manage.
Gena / Touch Matters
As for admission to a facility, There is doctor's paperwork (sometimes 2 doctors with some states) attesting to her mental state. The marketer will provide those papers. Good luck
BTW even though brother is POA, why do you not assist him in his search for facilities
Staying away for any specific length of time --- or --- two weeks is a tricky one. Everyone is different and needs to do what they think is best, taking into consideration support / advice from the facility management.
Mother will be mad at the beginning, middle and beyond.
This is to be expected. She may / may not forget depending on dementia / brain functioning. She may start to bond with some staff. It'll go as it goes - and no one really knows until they are in it.
Gena / Touch Matters
If you and your brother who is the POA stand strong in the fact that your mother cannot under any circumstances return home, the social worker will have to get your mother placed.
And if money is an issue you'll have to apply for Medicaid for her as you nor your brother should be paying one penny towards your mothers care.