I’m mom's POA, so whenever she’s prescribed a new med or treatment from her doctor they always call me first to give my consent.

Like today, nurse called & asked if my mom can get the new pneumonia vaccine.

In the past my mom has always been “anti-drug” whenever doctors would prescribe her meds they thought would help her..

Her history has always been whenever she took a new drug, she’d say “I’m not taking that anymore, it makes me feel funny, or not myself”, so she would throw them away.

The ONLY drug(s) she would take willingly are her Asthma meds because she knows she needs them to be able to breathe.

Otherwise if her arthritis pain got bad, she’d take a Tylenol.

Now that she’s been in the NH she’s had trouble sleeping so dx prescribed her Melatonin.

When the nurse goes to give it to her, she sometimes will take it (after nurse explains to her that it’s not a drug, but will try to help her relax so she can sleep), other times my mom will refuse to take it...

So the last few months her pain (from Breast cancer wound on her chest that metastasized to her brain & lungs) is causing her more pain.

Her hospice nurse wants to prescribe more pain meds but w/my mom’s history of not taking them, can they ask me to consent to “tricking” mom & putting the pain meds in her food if she refuses to take them willingly?

Because every time I go to see her she complains to me how much pain she has.

I ask her “mom, why don’t you take the pain meds they offer you?”

She’ll say “because they make me feel funny, like a mummy, I don’t wanna be drugged up”...

Then I get frustrated w/her because she puts all this pressure on ME to change her situation & I can’t do anything about it, all I can do is take the advice of her doctor, which my mother is refusing to do.

Why would a person do that??

Complain about how much they're suffering, but refuse help when offered??

Maybe they’re exaggerating their pain so you feel sorry for them???

I wish I could understand why she’s acting this way.

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She is old and wants things her way. Would you like people telling you what to do when u don't feel good. They hid Moms pill in applesauce or yogurt. The pain pills probably do make her fuzzy. Really a shame she won't take them. Maybe someone has an idea how to talk her into it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29

Well, your mom has made the choice not to take the pain meds. It was her decision. About the only thing you could possibly do is ask her if she wants the doctor to adjust the dosage so it doesn’t zone her out. I agree with her there. It’s not a pleasant feeling to be in a stupor. She may prefer the pain. You cannot “change her situation”. What is she asking you to do? Don’t argue over the meds. That’s a brick wall, apparently. You don’t say how often you visit or for how long, but you may want to cut back. I found that if I spent too much time with my mother, the complaints and witching increased.

If she refuses the pain meds and they hide them in her food, she’s going to know she’s taken them. That won’t set well.

Dont stress yourself out over her decision. It was her’s not your’s. Don’t explain or make excuses. Just tell her the meds are there if she decides she wants them.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Ahmijoy

The NH would sprinkle the drugs on Mom's food because she wouldn't take it otherwise. I always wondered about that if it was okay.
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Reply to tevincolorado

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