Mom is total care. My 90 yr old mom has had dementia for 10 yrs. She basically sits in her chair all day, gets up to go to the bathroom with assistance and to the kitchen table with assistance. She is clueless (sorry if that sounds harsh) to any of the issues in the house. My 93 yr old dad, has had 3 heart attacks since October of last year. His kidneys are already living on borrowed time and he doesn't follow the doctors orders of catheterizing himself every 8 hrs because it's too much work. He also figures that since he can urinate a little on his own, it justifies not following directions. He spent four days starting Easter evening at the hospital with a major UTI because of his not following directions. He has since had diarrhea before his hospital stay and continues to lose weight daily. He has lost 7 pounds this last week from not eating or drinking. He is so weak, he is either in bed or on the couch, quite often letting mom fend for herself. She has already fallen once because he wasn't helping her. He is stubborn to the core and refuses help.
He has been making choices like leaving shattered glass all over the kitchen floor for 24 hours and not cleaning up the bathroom floor after not making it to the bathroom in time. My mom walks barefoot in the condo most of the time. Dad doesn't like being told that his choices are putting mom in harms way. The above examples are just a few of the many bad choices he has made. He can handle it. NOT
My oldest brother refuses to take charge. My other brother and I are pulling our hair out with worry for what is going on. My oldest brothers wife goes to my parents 3 afternoons a week to make sure mom at least gets a shower twice a week. It is getting harder and harder for her dedicate her time to helping mom when she also ends up cleaning up the kitchen and bathrooms since my dad does nothing but leave everything and not clean it up. She gets paid big money for what she does. My oldest brother isn't willing to do what is necessary to become POA, and his wife makes big money those afternoons she is there, makes us wonder if his unwillingness to take over is in fear of losing that income. They refuse to have dad declared unfit because that is "just mean".
Life tasks aren't happening. Major safety issues are happening. Dad's physical health is in major decline. We are questioning his mental, even though he is aware of the day, month, who is president, etc. His common sense is gone. My SIL organizes all of his meds because he is on 12 everyday and when he was in charge, he would decide he doesn't have a problem anymore and just not take that med, which caused several hospitalizations. Uugghh
I'm at a loss. What can I do.... legally? It is affecting me physically and mentally. I need help.