I am struggling to take care of mother who consistently complains. She has been a complainer for years and now that she’s ill, it’s more intense. I have PTSD and I’m finishing up my studies. I don’t have support. Her complaining drives people away. Any suggestions?

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Thanks for the kudos. I appreciate it. It helped that someone showed me kindness today. I opened up and prayed for God to help me.
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Thank you all for responses. I feel better. I hit a point of frustration and I’m glad I found this space to share my experience. I’m going to continue caring for mom. I read an article that helped me to put things in perspective for me. Thanks again for sharing.
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Dear radicalcare7,

I'm sorry to hear what are you going through. There is a lot on your shoulders and even the most patient caregiver will feel burned out. I know its hard to be around negative people. I thought I could cope but sometimes its really hard.

Have you tried talking to a family therapist? counsellor? or social worker? Try to see out programs in the community or through church. Are there any support groups that might also be able to help you.

I know its hard to find the right balance, but I hope you do.

Thinking of you.
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What are your mother's impairments that require a caregiver?

Why are you doing the hands-on caregiving?

Do you live with your mom?

More details will result in more detailed suggestions.
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One other thought, Radicalcare7, I can't even begin to imagine being a caregiver with PTSD. I give you a lot of credit. Put your health first, it's the analogy of putting on the oxygen mask in the airplane before helping others. Also, I do know that most universities have all kinds of amazing resources to help you feel successful in school and navigate whatever health issues you are experiencing.
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How old is mom, Radicalcare7? What is going on with her health? Does she have dementia? Does your mother live with you, and do you have other family members to help pitch in with the caregiving?

Take care of yourself; you have a lot on your plate and those are major stressors. I hope the you can take a lot of breaks to clear your head and work on finishing your studies. You deserve it, so keep your eye on the prize! My only advice for a chronic complainer is to acknowledge their problem and then change the subject or even get off the phone as quickly as possible/ say that you have to step in the other room.

School can be done - I dealt with a dad with dementia and multiple phone calls a day and somehow finished my PhD. And I know from my own experience, these problems greatly impact your ability to concentrate. Be really tunnel vision about your work, make it your priority. Tell your mom how important it is for you to finish your studies. That will also give you a good excuse to break away from the complaints... "Oh, let's talk more later, i have a paper I have to finish by tonight."

Definitely do give more details about what is going on with your mom so that we can help you more.
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