Last year we had to deal with DH's mother who after her fall and stint in rehab decided that she didn't need to bath. Or she forgot and thought she did it last week.
We really didn't get it.
Now my own husband after his last episode in ICU for a bi lateral pulmonary emoboli has decided he can't shower, bath, or just doesn't have the energy.
I bought him adult wipes that can be used to wipe your areas and do sort of like a sponge bath. I've successfully given him two showers in two months.
He won't allow me to cut his fingernails or toenails [ewwww]. He won't let me wash his hair anymore. I fight with him to change his underwear or shirt when it is dirty.
Now I get it.
Bathing is his one controllable thing he has left in his life. And dang-it-all, he won't clean up until he is good and ready.
Since he has a bit of mobility issues, I've talked him into PT. I'm hoping for a few weeks we'll go to PT. I know he will want to appear clean then....or???
He was hospitalized for Major Depression in August. I think the depression is back. How can it not be?
I've made the cleaning up process as pleasant as it can be.
He has the first signs of vascular dementia as well, so ..
is it depression or control?
His health is very poor. And he tells others that the doctors said normally people don't survive the Pulmonary Emboli he had and that he was lucky.
And he replies that he was very UN lucky.
He's had cancer, he has COPD, PTSD, MDD, Vascular Dementia, PE, CVA [stroke in the speech/thought portion of the brain].
He says he has no life, no quality of life.
And I get it. He just wants to watch endless mindless programs that bring him some sort of pleasure.
Bathing is like running a marathon to him.
He isn't suicidal, but he is tired of life.