My father comes from a family history of violence & mental health issues. Without going too much into my family's dirty laundry my father has always been controlling, violent & emotionally abusive & physically abusive to my mom throughout the marriage. My sister & I have been there for him for the past 3 years since my mother died for "her" sake not our fathers because we felt she wouldn't want him alone.
He recently hurt himself, we got him hospital care then therapy in a nursing home. At the end of his therapy the doctor felt he was unable both physically & mentally able to care for himself in the home. It was time to get more help then we could provide a couple days a week anymore & neither one of us are able to provide 24/7 care personally because of his nature. We can't afford private care or I wouldn't even be writing this.
My father was going to leave the nursing home A.M.A. & I invoked the medical PA so he would wait, get more care & hopefully in his next doctor eval he could leave with home healthcare ordered by a doctor.
The doctor has agreed to let him go home with home health ordered after the occupational therapist goes through with my father at his home to evaluate any further devices etc.. he might need (reacher, sockaide etc..).
He is in the hospital now because of an existing condition but schedule to return to the nursing home long enough to set up the last steps to get him care.
Now he is going to refuse to go back because his crazy sibling has advised him not to & dad believes the water in the nursing homes air is killing him. I agree he can't stay any longer anyway otherwise he wont be financially able to pay the bills this winter.
I can't take anymore incredibly nasty insults, threats, crazy accusations and demands. Let alone from his crazy siblings getting involved that haven't been in his life for 40yrs it's just too much!
If this all goes south I'll have to drop the medical PA or he wont be able to afford to live when / if he does leave but I also can't because then I would be sending him home in a situation a doctor doesn't feel he is safe in without care and be legal responsible when he does something stupid.
I don't have the means to help him and at this point. I would love to just walk for my own mental health and let him live out the miserable, hateful life he seems dead set on finishing his story with.
No matter what I decision I make I seem S.O.L. & if my father stays at the nursing home longer or comes home AMA he's S.O.L. & that gets to be my fault as well.
Any advice on any part of this long drawn out post would be appreciated.