My dad and step-mother were very involved in their church. They believed in giving a tithe and exceeded the 10% you might think of as a suggested tithe. They were very generous and I think were providing over 10% of the churches monthly expenses. When they went into assisted living and memory care, my step-sister and I, having POAs for our respective parents, reduced their tithe to about 10% of their social security and pension total. This took it down to about 1/2 of what they were paying. My elder law attorney has advised this adjusted payment may pass the testing for Medicaid eligibility since it's a long term small-ish donation. As time goes on, and now I have to rent him a sit to stand device, and also wanting his money to last as long as possible, I'm considering eliminating his tithe payment. Just curious what others are doing and their reasoning.
My husband and I have been elders in our church for 25 years. My best friend and her husband have been managing the church financials for a long time and the "giving" is always changing, and sometimes very suddenly. If the church hasn't planned for this phenomenon, then that's on them. Also, faith of the elders and congregation that God provides is first and foremost in the equation.
Charity begins at home. Being Christians, I’m sure their Church would understand.
As POA I am only responsible for the payment directly associated with his care. Perhaps I would think differently If he had residual income.
The church was really supportive of us the last 6 weeks of Mom's life and the pastor helped me select bible verses for Mom's burial.
Would this work for you? I believe that your dad and stepmother have done their part for their church, and they may need all of their money to help themselves before this is over. You could stop their tithe now but allot something from their estate for their church in a one-time gift after they pass. Or you could do as I do, and send a gift to their church every year on, say, a birthday, their wedding anniversary, or whatever.
I choose to make a gift every year because I want my friends to be remembered by their church family every year as long as possible and their names to be in the bulletin, as they were known for their good works when they were alive (though many of the kind things they did were not known to others because they didn't want any hoopla).
Anything over 10% could be looked as gifting and that would cause a problem with Medicaid. I would call Medicaid, should be located at Social Services, and run this by them.
I can’t remember how much my sister and I discussed this with him. Medicaid wasn’t in view but he was completely dependent and needed his money for his care (including paying my sister and I as his full-time caregivers). “Resizing” his lifetime of generosity to smaller, kind of symbolic amounts just made sense for the season of life he was in.