I am my mom's only child. My mom has cancer, (untreated) & cannot walk on her own.
She is in rehab nursing facility for now.
I have no relatives left after my mom passes.
I live alone w/my pets.
I'm 54 w/hypertension but take meds to control it.
I have to work to support myself (I rent an apt).
Last night was bad, I came home after spending the evening w/mom @ NH.
I am not sleeping well, I have a very nervous stomach, no appetite, I am starting to tremble & am occasionally dropping things.
I had stated to sweat, feel nauseous & had diarrhea.
This lasted about 2-3 hours until I tried to fall asleep.
I keep thinking how my mom is crying & suffering being away from her home.
She tells me everything I go to see her that she wants to go home to her own house & have nurses come there to care for her.
She & I cannot afford to pay for any care out of pocket because mom has Medicare/Medicaid and Medicaid won't pay for nursing care in your home.
Every time I talk to mama on the phone, she talks for a few minutes, then as we as saying goodbye she starts crying & I can't stand to hear her in so much pain but I can't do anything to change it & it's making me feel like I'm having a panic attack.
I've usually dealt w/loss & death OK (not as well as some, but I pray a lot & try to talk it out w/friends & that has helped me in the past but this is really taking a toll on me & the more I feel like this, the more I worry that I WILL die before my mom & she will be left all alone.
I'm also panicked because if my mom should pass before me, then I am all alone & it frightens me terribly.
I am seeing my GP Doctor on Mon after I called & spoke to the nurse & told her my symptoms.
I'm hoping she can give me something to help calm me when I get anxiety or advise on some alternative treatment while I'm dealing w/all this.
I never knew what it felt like when I hear that others had "anxiety" or panic attacks but I think I know now how it feels & it's very, very frightening.
Please can anyone help me w/their knowledge of what I can do to at least get thru this weekend??