10 year long story short, my mother is bariatric and has had a steady health decline, and my brother and I have had to take care of her since then (24 years old, 26 years old). She refused care for years and has leaned on us for it, and she’s been unable to walk more than a few steps for about 5 or 6 years now.
Recently my mother has gone to the hospital for a bad fall she had and pain killers affecting her cognitive skills, then again for a GI bleed that almost killed her. She refused rehab in the hospital because apparently only we know how to take care of her, and she forced the hospital to discharge her after a few weeks.
My brother and I are completely burntout, and the only time we felt okay was when she was in the hospital sadly. Our mother has been home for about 4 months and it has been complete hell. She’s bed ridden, and we’re unable to work, have a social life, and I can’t shower without her screaming for help during it. Our lives are even more consumed now that she’s bed ridden. We do all her cleaning, which is hard because she’s over 400 pounds and we don’t have the right equipment because she has Medicare.
How do I tell her we need her to go to an assisted living situation? I’ve talked to her before and she told me I’m a bad daughter and I don’t care about her and other obscenities that I can’t name here. Both my brother and I are resentful, and it’s making him really mean. All of us are extremely unhappy and because of that my moms behavior has regressed to one of an infant with constant crying and tantrums (I guess a way of coping?).