Our son goes off to University tomorrow for the first time - my husband and I will have to get used to being “empty-nesters” as he is our only child. My mother lives with us and has always tried to get me to be the “parent “ to her, with various demands in order to get me to take the burden of anything she doesn’t want to do for herself. From my various posts over this year regular forum readers will know that my mother is a very selfish person. For many years I’ve been working on dealing with this and have got to the stage where we’ve been able to set a number of boundaries to ensure she doesn’t overwhelm me, and that she takes responsibility for her own personal needs and wants. I think I’m content that we have a situation that works for us reasonably well. I’m now concerned though that with our son gone, she will assume that the time I spent caring for our son will be time freed up that can now be spent on looking after her, rather than me and my husband having some time to ourselves to adjust to and enjoy this next phase in our lives, whilst still supporting our son from a distance. I would be grateful for any advice that my dear forum friends could offer me so that I can set out the way things are going to be, rather than get sucked into unnecessary additional care giving.