I would like to know what my rights are in caring for my mother.
My mother has been in my care since my father passed away in 1998. She was 68 years old at the time but somehow she never managed to be a full functioning adult. My father did everything and filled out everything for her and she would do everything he said, like a puppet. I let her move in an apartment I had in my home. She basically paid about as much as it would cost for utilities. It was not too bad at that time. Even though I was a single mother raising three children, working and managing the household. Siblings never did a thing to help, ever.
Then in 2007, she was 77 years old and diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. She already had signs of dementia but it was manageable until chemo began. That was the beginning of a bad situation getting worse. Super heavy chemo and coincidently broken arm at the same time. This was also the beginning of her decline and not functioning at all to even the simplest household chores. My children and I had to clean up and do everything for her. She basically needed 24/7 care but since she lived in the apartment below we pretty much try to hear if there was anything strange and my kids or I were there in a flash. No sibling assistance whatsoever. She was even dragged on vacations with us.
In 2012, she was diagnosed with two types of breast cancer. 82 years old and now undergoing surgery, chemo, radiation, and medication. And other complications of her diabetes, Adema,, dementia that had gotten much worse, heart and cholesterol issues as well. I pretty much begged for someone to have her so we could go on vacation. But the answer was always no or no answer which meant no too. Every year, 3 of my sibling would remember her on Mother's Day and arrange with me a luncheon then she was back home. I'm burnt out and I can no longer work because my mother is too much work. There's day care but only 5 hours, (10-3) 3 or 4 days a week and I need that time to get some things done and recoup for her return. Other days are for appointments and such. No care on weekends.
I've grown resentful of my siblings for their lack of compassion or care for me or my family or my mother. Now there is a niece that is getting married and they want to have my mother there. It's so much work to get her ready and to look presentable. Originally I wanted to say "no". But now I'm thinking if they do take her, do I have to accept my mothers return?
Please don't judge me. What I did not mention is my mothers increasing anger and physical and verbal abuse. Never a kind word. I know it's dementia but I'm at my limit.