I posted here back in May and appreciate everyone's responses on that one. To sum up, I'm 39 caring for my 75 year old mother with Alzheimer's and 80 year old father with mobility issues due to autoimmune disease. I live with them in their house. I have no job - they are my full time job. Which puts me in the worst position possible because I am dependent on them financially. My brother and I have tried repeatedly to convince them to go to assisted living but they won't go.
There are too many problems to even go into, but the one that is the biggest issue right now is my mother's nonstop tantrums and accusations. For the better part of the last year we fought over the paying of bills because she became unable to do it. The phone and cable almost got cut off, other bills were late, she'd write checks without remembering what they were for and then accuse me of taking the checks. She could never remember passwords to her accounts and numerous times a day would rope me into "helping her". It was an absolute nightmare. Then something happened about 2 months ago and she just kind of "forgot" about the bills and her computer. So I was able to intercept them and set them up to be paid online. For about 2 months, the arguments stopped and things were ok.
But something has happened in the last week and all of a sudden she "remembered" that she needed to be on her computer. So she'd get her laptop out and mess around with it and say things like, "I need things off my computer" but she didn't know what. Then she'd miraculously remember how to get on her email and bank account one day, but then not the next. And the questions started up with me again - "How do I get my email" and "I don't remember my password". Well I lost it because it's like we went backwards in time! We already went through this and she let go of the laptop for 2 months, and now all of a sudden she's back to obsessing about it! She printed off her bank statement which I knew was another sign of impending problems because she I knew she would not be able to make sense of it. But she never mentioned it to me so I let it go. Then 2 days ago she tells me she and my father went into the bank because they "had some questions" and the woman at the bank printed off the statement and she was "shocked" by x, y and z. Basically implying wrongdoing on my part (there was none). Well this provoked WWIII and it still hasn't let up. After explaining every deposit and deduction on the statement, my mother still didn't understand. She kept thinking deposits were withdrawals, and then launched into more accusations about me. She keeps saying I'm "keeping her account from her" when of course that's not true. The truth is she can't remember how to manage her account anymore and so she's accusing me of keeping it from her. Then she says, "Well if you had just shown me what you were doing"... well of course that doesn't help because a) she doesn't understand and b) she doesn't remember!
This past week she has been absolutely unmanageable. Cannot be reasoned with. She repeats the same arguments over and over again, makes the same accusations over and over again (which are untrue but clearly are very true to her). She sneaks around trying to get on computers but she doesn't know what she's doing. I set up her email on my ipad so all she has to do is tap the AOL app to get it (no need to remember password) but that's not good enough for her. First she didn't believe it was her email, so I had my dad send her an email to prove it would show up. Not good enough - she looks at them and says "those are all ads, I want the emails from my friends!" (stamping her feet like a child). Then a day later she doesn't remember anything about the ipad or the emails. All she knows is she's spent her whole life obsessing about her accounts and suddenly she is obsessed with trying to get back into them, even if she doesn't even really know what she is looking for.
I don't know what to do. Is it "normal" to have this kind of regression to past behavior? Should I call the neurologist and ask for meds? I honestly can't deal with this. I'm a wreck.
To make matters worse, my dad enables my mom and goes along with her antics. I told them yesterday that because of my mom's accusations and their unwillingness to go to assisted living, I refuse to become official power of attorney. They haven't finished their will, medical directives...nothing! I told them I would be moving out in 6 months (I need some time to figure out how to get enough money to leave) and after that they are on their own. But my days are occupied with incessant arguing and tantrums so once again I'm getting steered off track from my own goals.