20 plus calls each day often accusing. I had them remove number and will stay away for a period. Shameful and guilty?

I'm assuming you mean he was just admitted into MC and he's been calling you incessantly. I believe most facilities will advise you hang back for about 2 weeks while an LO "acclimates". I would suggest they (or you) remove any phonebook from his room so that he's not also incessantly calling other people in his long-term memory (that's what my MIL did). You are not guilty, you are grieving. There's a big difference. You aren't doing anything wrong or immoral. You are not doing anything to be ashamed about. For some problems there are just no good solutions. Cognitive diseases have forced so many people to choose between terrible options. Please work towards peace in your heart that there is no other fix for his situation. You can't provide the care. Someone must. He is safe and gets fed and has social interaction. Rest in this accomplishment. May your future days be filled with blessings.

Sorry. What is a T20 plus? When accusations start from any quarter I would recommend a list of excuses. Whoops, there's the doorbell. Oh, sorry, Jimmy just fell on his bottom. Oh, dear, I need to deal with the pest control guy. Lordy, I sure do need to get to the bathroom RIGHT now. I will call tomorrow. Hallo, Hallo; is there something wrong with the line? I can't hear you. Call me tomorrow. Just make certain when that stuff starts you just exit the phone at once. It is kind of mind-training.

You are doing the right thing. He is where he needs to be.

My Dad has been gone since 2006 he was 79, Mom 78. He always pushed her buttons when she was not inthe right mood. I walked in on one of these little snits. Mom was so mad she was red. Told her she was going to have a stroke. She then said "when you take those vows they don't tell you when he is old you will be too and you don't feel like putting up with their s _ _ t anymore".

This goes for everyone after a certain age. We just don't have the stamina to care for someone else. Esoecially someone who has a desease so unpredictable. My DH, 74, dreads the thought of a NH. I have told him I make no promises but will keep him home as long as possible. Thats all I can do.