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I have resided with my folks for over 6 years.


I have the patience of a saint!! But the constant nastiness and no filter is driving me nuts and the whole physicality of what I do is exhausting as I’m 63 myself.


...and to boot I work 5 days a week with my dad, so I have no sanctuary !!!


and they complain about my daughter and her Bf and my granddaughter coming over, but they sure like it when they do things for them!!!


And they act entitled because they are “old”


What can I do to remove myself from this situation ???? I know some may say move... buy my “pay” doesn’t cut it and I feel like my dad gives me play money just so I don’t move. I have siblings but they just go on with their lives.

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Problem solving... your car is not the only way for your dad to get to work. Uber. Car pool.
You don't ask for permission, you make your plan and then you follow through with it. Start looking for a job and so what if your mom stomps off with her walker.
I understand the feeling abused. It's very hard to separate your emotions when your elderly parents are pushing all of your buttons.
Find that therapist to help guide you towards sanctuary.
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I have Medicaid🙄
and I drive him and I to work
if I even mentioned I’m burnt out they roll their eyes or my mom stomps her walker
like they think I’m still 16 and I don’t require time off
honestly I’m the one that feels abused here
theres 2 of them and one of me!
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Lulu,
I'm hoping you have health insurance. If so, are you able to find a therapist for yourself? When situations get complicated, it's so helpful to have someone who is there for you in a caring, compassionate, and objective way. My therapist is a great problem solver in addition to everything else.
This is a situation that calls for problem solving!!!
Are you able to switch out of the 'working with dad'? If so that would limit some of this 24/7 feeling of being required to be on.
I think you identified what you need-- sanctuary! This can be physical, mental, psychological...or all of those.
When someone says something to you or your children that is nasty, you have every right to tell them that "that is not acceptable", or "until you can be kind to me, I will not talk to you".
There's a lot going on here, and it can be sorted out.
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That’s the thing
the kids do help and invite and drive etc
but they are hurt cuz nasty things get said about them and to them etc....
my kids are my number one priority
and they need not be insulted
i have my cna and when things are out of control you can say that’s fine someone else can do it for you
you don’t need to be abused either
i have my own problems
I have a son with MS and another one with cancer and the daughter that comes by has Celiac Disease
so I think I have more then I can handle and I’m single
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I e learned with my parents either you take up the slack or ignore it. They are at an age they are “stuck in their ways”. When you think about it, how can you ask them to change behaviors they have grown accustomed to at an age they just want to age in place? It’s not really practical. Remind yourself that one day they will not be here to nag in those moments they are nagging. Think of the bodily and mental changes they are experiencing. And appeal to your daughter and her BF that you guys are older and need more hands on assistance from them.
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