My parents live in my house. Both are in their 90s. I have caregivers come seven days a week. I attend to their needs in the evening. I know I should not engage with my mother because it just brings a torrent of accusations. Today she said a whole lot of cutting remarks. My husband was in the hall and heard what she said. She said she was sorry to ever come to live with me. She said that no daughter should talk that way to her mother. I didn't say anything to her I was just setting up her medicine box for the week. She said I should have the pain and suffering that she feels so I know what it feels like. She is very hard of hearing and she never seems to hear me or understand what I am saying even after I repeat a question. She replies to others when they ask a question. My husband says that I am her scapegoat. I believe that she has some dementia, and that in combination with her poor hearing, makes it impossible for me to have any conversation with her. Writing on a white board does not work unless it is only one word. Talking louder only makes her say I am yelling. It is not easy to deal with someone with dementia, and forget trying to explain things because you get nowhere. Not really asking anyone for solutions because I know this is a hard issue to solve. Just want to know from other caregivers how they have developed thick skins and how they carry on their duties under trying circumstances. Thank you!