My parents live in the basement of my home, which I converted into an apartment for them about a year ago. They lost all their retirement and were barely making ends meet financially. So they pay me a relatively small monthly sum, basically to pay for the RV that I bought them (that sits in the yard because they can't afford to take it anywhere).
My Mom is very able-bodied and they are relatively self sufficient--for now. However my dad is a life-long alcoholic whose drinking continues to affect the rest of the family, even though we live upstairs.
I am looking for resources that might help me navigate this situation with love and understanding. There seem to be a plethora of resources for adults whose children return to live with them. But very little for families whose elderly parents move in with their adult children. I'm wondering if there are things like templates for agreements or commitments that we all make with each other to ensure all family members' needs are met.
I am very familiar with addiction and the Al-Anon & AA approach. And I have followed that path for the many years I lived away from my parents. But now my dad's disease is wreaking havoc in the house (I share the upstairs with my partner & our two teenagers). And I'm wondering if it makes sense to give him some ultimatums, like you would with an adult child.
I realize this is a touchy subject. And, of course, I love my father. But we need to be able to communicate about things. His health is only going to get worse over time and right now I am the only option they have for housing and care.
Thanks for listening and for any advice or resources you might care to share.