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The closer it got to Mother’s Day the more people posted. I know I did. My DH’s behaviours became worse as the day drew nearer as he anticipated seeing his mother’s face in three years even if it was by video call. The ensuing nonsense from his brother and mother really brought a lot of old feelings back. Luckily it went well but not before her dominance over her sons had been established


Who out there, like me hate and dread all these specific days like Mothers Day, birthdays and CHRISTMAS!!!!! and the unhappiness and chaos it brings with it


How many of us are looking after parents and others we really don’t like. Perhaps even hate? How many of us, like me have done this, even in the past and are having to also endure the absolute negativity, hatred, manipulation and open combativeness from various family members who don’t do a thing to help?


Then there are the circling vultures waiting for the person to drop off the perch and already putting their plans into place to rip of other beneficiaries and through all this WE are expected to be calm and “nice” and NEVER lose our $hit


How do we do it?


How?

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I get nervous before Mother's Day, mostly cuz I dread it. It's exhausting to wonder how long this cud go on... (since it's been 6 years already). I need a life really badly.😰 Hope the summer will help me revive. God bless us all.
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WorriedinCali. Yep. Mother’s Day. Christmas. ALL about the MIL. Still is. When I was little I would go to church with my mother because in Britain that’s what it was originally about and so it continued when my parents moved to Australia. It was never a big fussy day. I would buy something from the mother’s day stall at school and would be excited to give it to her

Now since meeting DH at age 16, it has all been ruined and I literally hate these approaching days. There has never been any room for me. After a while I just started ignoring them

And as as stated in this post don’t even consider complaining or being upset. Put up with the controlling behaviours while being the carer for them or their child. Take the abuse on the chin and be the bad guy and watch the manipulation continue
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It's the expectations. Mother's Day should bring a nice dinner, a card, a present and it should be ON the day. We've had celebrations on Saturday, because of work schedules and it's not regarded as quite right. I did the big dinner for 35 years, despite being a mother myself, and neither mother thought anything of my being frazzled. When my MIL passed, I stopped altogether - I missed her and I had no heart for it after she was gone. With my own mom, the relationship is complicated and everything, including card shopping, has been a challenge. With my own kids, it's low key - I work in the garden, they call and it's all good. I know they love me - when I was battling the flu, one kid did my grocery shopping, another brought food and drinks for me. So much more meaningful than obligatory flowers.
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I’ve always thought Mother’s Day was a Hallmark holiday. Another commercialized day. I’ve always thought, we don’t need a certain day to honor our Mother’s & show them we love & appreciate them. We should be doing that every day. (Unless of course mom is a miserable narcissist or who was and is an abusive mother).

As I said on another post, I’ve never been a fan of mother’s day because 1)my mother lives in another state. I’ve spent 2 mother’s days with her since I became a mother 11 years ago. She moved 15 years ago so really, I’ve spent 2 mother’s days with her in the last 15 years). And 2)Mother’s Day was always all about my MIL, even after I became a mother and the day became nothing but a source of disappointment, hurt feelings and stress because I was always the bad guy! I foolishly expected that mother’s day would be MY day too but......up until the last 3-4 years, it was MILs day and I got a lot of grief for wanting to do what I wanted to do, rather than what my SIL planned for my MIL! I always thought, it doesn’t have to be all about her on mother’s day, not when there are other mothers in the family now. She had over 32 mother’s days with her children before any grandchild came along! Anyway
After my SIL had her 2nd child, things changed and we all did our own thing (and involved MIL in it somehow).

This was the first Mother’s Day with my MIL and again I did not get to spend it with my mother. All the flowers and mother’s day balloons in all the stores, all the stupid radio commercials.....all painful reminders. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, mother’s day was a sad day. Nobody would go with me to the cemetery to visit my MIL so I went alone as usual. My husband was wonderful, went out and bought my beautiful flowers and had the kids with a card. He wanted to make me breakfast but I made it myself. My kids were Royal pains in the butt. Talking back & arguing all day. Daughter had a major attitude when we walked to Starbucks and she didn’t get a $5 drink. Took her anger out on her brother, not letting him get in front of her on the walk home & rushing up & pushing the crosswalk button when she saw him going to push it. I couldn’t shake the sadness all day though. And the disappointment, I guess I expected too much from my kids. My daughter said she has made me something at school and when I asked her about it yesterday, she said she forgot! So that hurt my feelings. I know my kids are 7&11 so maybe I am expecting too much. Neither of them even said happy mother’s day to me!

Foolish me, I’m the one who fell for the stupid Hallmark holiday again! Honestly i wish the day didn’t even exist. It is nothing but a source of sadness and disappointment.
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Yes, I dread those days and my mom's birthday was two weeks ago. Then just over the horizon is Father's Day next month. It seems the holidays are just barely over, then these days come along to rile up everything again. It really feels like my mom and dad just sit there waiting for me to bow at their feet, then complain about what I don't do. I believe these types of holidays should no longer be observed when a "child" is over 21 or out of the house living independently. The parents however will keep accepting adoration and attention in whatever form it can come.
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My mother called Mother’s Day, Retailers Day Number 3. Christmas is Retailers Day No 1, and Easter is Retailers Day No 2. Yes, I think about her, but I know what she would say about all the schmaltz and it doesn’t go down well with me either. I try to give presents that matter when they matter, and the ‘compulsory’ gifts are just a small token. It used to be a Mars Bar, but I’m off sugar now so it can be a cake of super special soap – something my mother always loved. My daughters aged about 10 gave me a little 'mothers day' pack they made at school with 'vouchers' in it - a house clean, breakfast in bed etc, things they would never actually do in a pink fit. I still have the little pack of vouchers, and I smile every time I see it! The thoughts were lovely, and they still count.
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Well, I tend to agree. I know these are supposed to be ‘happy’ celebrations but I feel pressure on these particular days. Sort of like things are expected and if they don’t happen, then disappointment.

I am more a fan of surprises such as when my husband and I were dating, he picked me up from work and had a surprise gift for me, lovely French perfume! It was unexpected and I found that to be so very sweet. When I said to him that it wasn’t my birthday, Christmas or Valentine’s Day, he responded with, “It’s because I love you!” How sweet is that? Melted my heart ❤️
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