My 88 yo mom is in assisted living getting loving care in a home with 2 other elderly women. Mom can't really hear me on the phone anymore and she mostly doesn't understand me when she can hear. I went from daily phone calls 3 years ago to 1x a week and dreading it. Most of the time I call and she's asleep. I work during the week and visit her 2.5 hours away every 4 weeks or so. We can't really talk because she can't hear me. I've had her evaluated and have nurse come to clean wax out. She won't use any of the 3 hearing aids ( high end ones) I bought her and now they are "lost" anyway. She used to kind of know if I hadn't called in a couple days but lately she has no clue. Her short term memory is 2 minutes at best but she still knows who I am. Am I being a bad daughter not calling more often..? I can't get over the guilt but when I try to call I'm left extremely frustrated and usually upset. I text one of the caregivers regularly to see how she is and the caregiver is wonderful about sending photos and keeping me up to date. Am I wrong in feeling solace in the caregivers texts instead of actually trying to talk to mom????