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My LO is in assisted living. When a change in medication may be needed or another issue/question requires the facility doctor to authorize/consult, there is sometimes a 5-7 day wait. Doctor is only in the building once per week. The nurses might message him on a Wednesday and by Saturday or Sunday, they still haven't heard from him.


I have been asked to step back and not contact doctor directly — let the staff work through the proper channels. How do I do that when each day that passes, I watch my LO fail even more, waiting for info/consult/medication change?

Most ALs do not provide medical care, you should take her to outside doctors.
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Reply to LakeErie
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It sounds like your LO should be in a nursing home, not an AL facility. She needs to go to her own doctor and they can sort out her medications. AL facilities aren't medical facilities.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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Use your own doctor. Get mom to a geriatrician immediately and have someone else oversee her car. Alf isn’t prison and you are not obligated to use their physician.
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Reply to Jdjn99
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This is common. It does take a while for these doctors to get back with concerns. I got Hospice Care involved with my mom's care. We had a doctor that was only in the facility once a week too. I was impatient, but it also takes a long time for an appointment outside as well. If it's urgent, they will send your loved one to the Emergency Room at your request.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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Bay, how long would you wait if you weren't dealing with the facility doctor?

I think that you should be able to speak with the doctor and find out how to get things addressed sooner or does your loved one need to be transported to the hospital for more immediate help.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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I suggest that you contact the agency in your state that regulates assisted-living facilities. You can probably make an anonymous report and you might get some advice for dealing with the situation in the meantime.
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Reply to Rosered6
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What sort of crisis, for a few instances, are you wanting immediate action on, can you tell us? Even with your own MD (if your care is anything like San Francisco, you are going to wait 24 hours to hear or be advised to go to an ER, and then you will wait for an appointment also.
I am trying to guage how realistic your expectations are. And I would encourage you to discuss this with the administration yourself. Ask them honestly if they will reassure you that an emergent situation will be addressed with a call to be seen emergently or with a transfer to the EMS.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I pulled my dad out of memory care almost 5 years ago and never looked back. Trust your instincts and don't be afraid to advocate for your loved one!
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Reply to dadvocate
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In AL and MC we kept my moms usual MD…I took her to her doctors office…The nursing home she has been in for last 10 months…we accepted their medical director..Good Luck..
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Reply to Sadinroanokeva
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WendyElaine Jul 13, 2025
This is what I do, too, bc I do not want to give up control to facility doc whose loyalty is to facility, not my mom. By maintaining our own doc, we maintain medical control. My mom can get in and out of car. If she could not, we’d have a different situation.
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Send a letter to the DOR and administrator that you are afraid of your parent’s safety. Document when request was made and date of your letter.Documentation gets the job done. Safety can be tied to just about everything. ( sorry LO- IDK what that means?).
good luck!
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Reply to Onlyonechild
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CaringWifeAZ Jul 13, 2025
I think LO is Loved One.
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