I was a caregiver, with my sister, for our mother who passed away in april for about 5 months. I am getting married in december, thank God mom was there when he proposed, and I keep finding myself thinking "does it really matter" on the details of the wedding because mom wont be there. And then all I think of is how life was when she was sick and I was with her. Don't get me wrong though, I was out of state for that time, fiance at home for his work most of that time, I lost my job of 8 years due to fmla running out but I would do it all again if I could. Spending the last months of her life with her was precious to me, even though she didn't recognize me most of the time. I just don't know how to go on without her some days. Will that ever get better/easier is my question. Thanks for letting me vent/whine etc.