My 94-year-old mother just wants to sleep either lying down in bed or just sitting in her wheelchair. She's complained for months of bloating and stomachache, but nothing untoward has been found.
This has been going on for months. She's on medications to suppress stomach acidity. She's very deaf and has some dementia. She eats fine and hasn't lost weight, but shows no interest in anything, whether it be going for walks in her wheelchair or watching TV or having visits from grandchildren and greatgrandchildren. Her blood pressure is excellent and all vital signs seem okay.
Nothing makes her happy and she doesn't stop moaning and complaining. She lives at home with a caregiver who has gone on vacation for 5 weeks. We didn't find a replacement caregiver, so my 2 sisters and myself have become her caregivers. She finds fault with everything we do. She's marking off the days on the calendar for her caregiver to return.
Just venting but this is so difficult. She says she's had enough, but still eats quite well, especially sweet things (comfort foods?).
A lot of the elderly build special relationships with a caregiver. It's common for the elderly to want to sleep a lot and really just do nothing as they are wearing out. Sometimes, they just want you to sit and be even if they are napping on the couch.
I wouldn't force your loved one to engage but just be. Is Palliative Care of Hospice needed or perhaps when the "regular" caregiver returns you can have a discussion if there has been a steady decline.
Some NH give residents their dessert "first" to sweeten their taste buds so they will eat. I have been in the trenches for a while now. I have learned that with Dementia and old age--the elderly are not dying because they are not eating, but they are not eating because they are dying. I didn't realize this but with the knowledge I have now compared to 14 years ago if you can believe that one, it's quite a common characteristic.
Just sit and hold Mom's hand...Amen!
My Mom was ready to go as well at 96. Lots of complaining. So many losses have been endured at that stage of life. Said she didn't have any purpose anymore. She said she felt like a burden and had lived too long.
Antidepressants may add to gut issues like constipation.
A lot of sleeping is common at that age. My FIL is doing it as well at age 96. Both he and my Mom have/had a taste for sweets. Also very common at that age.
So glad to hear she likes her caregiver! Count yourselves lucky!
She is approaching her end. Just love and support her the best you can and know it won't last forever. Dementia is so hard.
You are, yes, looking at the beginning of the end. At this age my own Dad told me that as good a life as he had had, as much joy of it he had experienced, it finally came down to utter exhaustion and a long for what he called the "last long nap". He was so ready to go. Didn't mean he didn't still love his dish of ice cream. Just meant he was so over it.
It's wonderful your mom so loves her caregiver. That will ease her last days. But it is time now, while you are there, to get together with her to do a last advance directive and to arrange with doc to get a POLST posted in the home so that no one transports her to ER, or does CPR on her fragile body. Discuss hospice care which would be a wonderful help to her caregiver, and a good support.
Best of luck.
Is she on any meds for her mood? If not, I would talk to her doctor about this possibility.
Regarding her stomach issues... what kind of testing has been done that the conclusion is "nothing untoward has been found"? Found by a doctor? Is she constipated?
Her only real needs are peace and comfort. So, pain management and allowing her to sleep as much as she wants. How many hours a day is she now sleeping?
You may want to consider talking to her doctor about getting assessed for hospice care. Hospice is covered by Medicare and she can get it in a facility so that you don't have to orbit around her. Or, get her assessed for LTC by her doctor. This can be covered by Medicaid plus her SS income if she applies and qualifies.
Our sweet tastebuds are the last ones that are functioning in our old age. It's the flavor that seniors can still taste. All the other taste buds no longer sense like they used to.