Tired, mentally strained and cannot stop.
I went like normal to visit my mom yesterday. I have started going at different times because the nursing home is full and understaffed. My mom's room "was" at the end of the hall and around a corner. When I got there her door was shut I pushed it and it was jammed. I could see my mom's wheelchair. I hollered Mama are you in there ?...she said yes I fell. I hollered down the hall for help they called a code green which means a patient has fallen. We went through the bathroom in the next room and there sat my mom on the floor...feces everywhere on the bed ..on her wheelchair and her. I came unglued...I walked out of the room into the hallway so staff could get her up and cleaned. Unfortunately when I get mad I cry...some came out and said they were sorry that happened... some came out with excuses...she shouldn't try to get up by herself...blah blah blah the excuses flew right through me. I said " My mother was sitting in the floor covered in S*#* ...for how long ?? I had them move her to a room by the nurses station so staff can see her and people walking down the hall can see her. They also moved her roommate with her. My mom's roommate is semi comatose and tube fed, but she is the perfect roommate for my mom and my mom loves her I think she gives my mom purpose because she feels she takes care of Miss Betty. My mom's mind is going quickly since she broke her hip in March. She didn't have any idea how long she had been on the floor, but she was still in her gown had not been bathed or dressed. I go everyday day except weekends what happens to the one that do not get visitors ? The home is only 5 minutes from where I work and 15 minutes from my home. We live very rural so moving her would mean I wouldn't be able to see her all the time the nearest facility is almost an hour away. I absolutely hate this...I hate that people judge you for placing someone in a nursing home. I am an only child I cannot take care of her by myself. I do the very best I can. She is the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to bed. I am so ready for her to just die she would not want to live like this if she understood ...I hate seeing her like this...I hate worrying.. I have children and grandchildren I would like to visit and not worry about leaving her. It affects everything that happens in my life. Everyone says well you just take care of her like she did you...she didn't take care of me, but I will say the woman that didn't take care of me died a little while ago and left in her place a shell of a pitiful woman who can no longer take care of herself, is delusional and a bit crazy. She has several issues to include cirrhosis, latent syphilis that was treated but not soon enough to not cause her mental issues , COPD and CHF. Well, that is my rant for the day...I have to come here every so often to just unload how many people can you say these things to ??. I have even had people say "I would never put my parent in a Nursing home" well screw you ...never say never unless you have walked the same path..