I need someone to talk to.

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i just posted about big fight with mom and hating sister. maybe you can find it? i need someone to talk to. it isn't fair that everyone in my family gets treated with respect except me and my mom is mad at me now because i stuck up for myself. i feel really bad. what am i supposed to do? these people, my family, will only relate to me if i let them treat me like sh*t? that's not ok with me. i have had it. i need someone to talk to. i am really upset right now. my sister is evil. i need her out of my life. or i need to be able to get in her face and tell her off which i am fine with doing but if i do it, it upsets my mom... this isn't fair to me. mom isn't eligible for assisted living and won't go. she is stuck here with me for the time being. i did call aging and adult services but we are playing phone tag. what is the most hurtful is realizing (again. i guess i realized it in childhood) that my family really doesn't give a sh*t about me. i don't have any close friends or a relationship either. it's not fair. i matter. i don't deserve to be used and treated like crap.

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I’m coming to this discussion 7 months later but, that said, even though I’m new here.... I will be happy to lend you an ear any time. I hope things with you are somewhat better
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Annabelle, I relate to a lot of what you say about your family's lack of respect. I finally confronted my sister about the way she has always treated me. I did it through the safety of e-mail mind you but I did suggest that she and I get together and talk. She declined. Not surprising. Now she can play the victim card. I wish her luck with that..........cause I don't intend on backing down from her ever again. If it means no relationship with her from here on in, that's up to her.

Be your own advocate Annabelle. Love yourself enough to not let people discount you and your feelings. I've grown a back bone through all the strife and sadness I went through during my Mom's final days. It fits really good. I think I'll keep it.
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Send, you're always so good to all of us.

Hi Annabelle,

I hear you, my friend. Please know if you need anyone to talk to, feel free to private message me. Take care of yourself. We are here for you.
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Bringing this back up so Annabelle can talk to someone.
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thx guys! I like the idea about joining a book club. I think I need to try to do more in person type things locally because I am so isolated. I like being online, too, but I need someone to be here for me physically, too. I think it is really good that I am in therapy. my life is a mess, not just because of the stuff going on with mom but for a lot of reasons. I rarely do anything for myself and this could help I think get me on a different track. hopefully. I am so glad that my mom is at my sister's. it's only for a few days but I am getting some time that I desperately needed to myself. I think she likes it too. I realize that my mom and I really shouldn't live together in the same house. it's too hard on me and probably her. I am going to ask the therapist what she thinks about trying to put together a family meeting when my brother gets here so it could me, mom, sister, and brother. It could be awful but maybe it's worth a try. right now, we haven't even done that. at least I would know where everybody stands. thank you again so much. for writing and for keeping me in your thoughts. I hope you have a great weekend, too.
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Hi Annabelle,

I'm glad to hear from you, too! That's so good that your sister stepped up and took your mom for the weekend. I am a total procrastinator and admire that you are taking steps to deal with all this. You do deserve to find happiness and companionship (and to have some fun!) I hope you will enjoy the rest of the weekend!
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Annabelle; It's so good to hear from you and that mom is at your sisters.

It sounds as though you have some tough issues to work on in therapy. Therapy is hard work and can be exhausting, but keep at it!

You need to learn to love and value yourself, which it sounds like you are starting to do. Finding friends can be tough, but try being around people without stressing over whether they are the right fit.

Read books from the library and join a book discussion group, online or at the library. Discussing books with people often gives one insight into whether they think the same way you do.

Be well!
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it's me. a couple people asked how am I doing which is super nice. thank you again. so I wanted to give an update. i'm not exactly sure the best way to use this site still. is it better to post on an existing thread from the past or start a new one, esp if you are just dealing with the same stuff, don't really have a question but want to give an update and vent or whatever? should I start a new post or which post should I add on to? I have started several? anyway...
mom is currently at sisters for a few days. Yea!!! so badly needed it's not funny. we didn't have a discussion, she just asked her over. I realize as I am typing this that I am very tired and it won't be a long post. in near future I need to ask sister if she can commit to doing this regularly for my health and sanity. brother is coming in a few weeks to visit. going to therapy in a week or so. need to talk to therapist about many many issues. it is very overwhelming. overall, I feel exhausted and sad but I am hanging in there. it's very hot where I am and I work outside which isn't helping. I often wonder why I exist? I have no close friends, I am used by my family and possibly not truly loved by any of them, have horrible financial problems, bad physical problems, and on and on. but the weird thing is, I don't want to die. I feel like I have been a super decent person my whole life. I just can't seem to find my niche or that special person or persons to share my life with who respect me. I guess this is kind of off topic but it's not in that this is coming up even more because I am being faced again through caring for my mom with family of origin issues. i feel like i got a really bad start and want to find some true love and happiness before i die. i feel like i deserve that just as much as anyone and i'm not going to get it from my family, nor would it even be appropriate i guess at my age. I guess this is long. i'm not really looking for advice right now, i just wanted to post.
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keep coming here,, this site is a game changer for all different reasons. My husband died of lung cancer a year and a half ago and if I hadn't been on inspire.com (a board much like this one, for patients and caregivers of those battleing the disease) I would have totally lost it. Now I'm faced with trying to find what the right thing to do for my 90 year old dad is and I found this site. Again much needed support for emotional as well as medical and just caregiving in general from those that get it. I read through all your posts and see like any situation that once you get a little "fed up" with it all its much more productive. things get said and done that really help. Keep standing your ground, don't give in. Your making progress, and theres love and support for you here in this community !
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i'm sorry I am just very tired and sad. I can't take anymore right now. I will be back later. sorry if I offended anyone. for the most part I have found good help and support here. i'm pretty raw right now. thank you.
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