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I have posted about my mother who doesnt care about anyones feelings but her own...she manipulated me in being here by playing weak and frail only to be totally fine now that im here...unless she wants to manipulate me into doing something. 3 tuners on dish which means you can tape 3 things at once...and when 3 things are taping you cant watch live tv. in the 2 months ive been here i havent been able to finish one tv show. she tapes 24/7...every news show...golf! because she just wants to sit and watch tv all day and do nothing! ive confronted her with this and she says "well its my dish" lol. .i buy all the groceries, i wonder how she would like it if i told her all she was eating was bread and water cause i buy all her food. just needed to vent. loosing my mind!

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NewUser32 - If you just want to vent, that's fine. I'm sure you can find lots of people who can relate to that. I moved out of my mother's house over 3 years ago and I still vent about it. And commiserate with other folks who are still in that situation.

Regarding the TV remote, I had that battle too. In my mother's community there are several choices of provider and I actually had a different company come in and set up a connection just for my room. So we both watched our own shows and paid our own bills. The helper who is now living in my old room at my mother's house uses the same provider as my mother but got a separate cable box for her bedroom. I believe she covers the difference in the monthly cable bill but I could be wrong. They worked that at between themselves.

If you're not in a position to move right away, then try to take whatever steps you can to make the living situation bearable for yourself for as long as it lasts. Any way you can reduce your stress and aggravation will be a plus until you get the resources together to move out. Good luck!!
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Gershun said it! I posted an answer yesterday about hospice and guilt and now reading it I sounded a little strange. Can't delete it either Lol ! Hang in there sugar ! Vent away !
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NewUser no one on here is trying to scare you away or make you feel unwelcome. The first couple of times I posted on here someone gave me hell for something. I don't even remember what it was now. But honestly, everyone has their bad days and they vent. This is a site full of people who have had a long, grueling time of it with caregiving and beyond and also people who are just starting their caregiving journey. You will make friends on here if you stick around and aren't too sensitive. Just hang in there.............or not. It's up to you.
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if i knew how to delete threads i would but dont know how. so ill quit posting and i get it. no more warnings or anything. ive already got my head full of stuff.
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actually ive only made two posts and yes, been here one day. dont think ive done anything wrong. just kinda explaining whats up. but honestly, and i hope you dont take offense either, but it seems maybe this was a wrong route to come to this site. i have pretty severe social anxiety and this seemed an easy way to talk and meet people but i suppose not. good luck to all of you though. 
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NewUser32, CountryMouse is a wise woman. You would do well to listen to her. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Not that I think that CM said anything cruel to you but you seem to think that.

Vent all you like but if you don't want advice people will eventually shut their ears to your venting...........no offense. There are a few people who have their very own thread and they are the only one posting on it cause all they want to do is complain. I get it that you are new here so I am just warning you. Consider the advice when it comes........there are a lot of weary road warriors on here (including myself) who can help you cause some of them have been exactly where you are now.
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just dealing. sorry
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Welcome to California!

Come and vent on the Whine thread - we do find that even the tiniest bit of humor helps - otherwise your head may in fact explode
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no, im not. i found this site today and have all this built up. only needed to get a little bit of venting out. not necessarily all i planned to do. just kind of felt like a release to get some of it out of my head and know im not alone in all this. i live in California quite far from most that i could talk to.
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NewUser32, sounds like you only want to use this site to vent, and not to get meaningful advice. That is perfectly OK. Use it however it works for you. Just don't be surprised and hurt if some people also offer advice or ask questions. That pretty much happens on all posts.
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i was answering the question from above about if i had siblings and a caregiver contract.
far as i can see this site has a lot of people getting out their frustrations and i can tell you, i have seen everyone being kind and supportive. this is not what needs to happen here.
i just sold everything i own to move in with her. i do work but its limited now. i would love to be able to just say it isnt working and move out but thats not possible for me at the moment.
please be understanding to people here because a lot of people just need to know they are not alone. responses like this only make people feel worse and nobody needs that!
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So what do you want to happen?

You describe your mother variously as hateful, selfish and manipulative. You describe how this has impacted you. But you talk as though you have no agency, no ability to make decisions that are both right for you and supportive of your mother's wellbeing.
What would the best case scenario look like? Where would you be living, and how would your mother be cared for?

Venting is good, and we all know what it's like just to need to get stuff off your chest and out in the open, that's fine. But if you're getting past the point where you can tolerate your mother's behaviour then you need to do something to make change happen. Complaining about your brother and lamenting your mother's attitude are not going to do the trick.
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my sister and i have a very good relationship. both of us respect each other and trust each other. she would be here to help if she could but her husbands job is on another state. she is great about supporting my venting.
my brother has not come home in 30 years. he calls her multiple times a day and recently screamed her into giving him (and this is just what i know of) 20,000 dollars. he is her golden child and can do no wrong and i am the one she treats like crap yet i have been there to help her whenever she needs me..plus i was there when my dad died and after to help her get through it.
when i ask her why she treats me so badly she says 'oh! so you think you are the special one' and rolls her eyes.
no issue with me and my sister not trusting each other and my brother sure has no room to talk!
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Well you are in that all too familiar position where you need to establish boundaries and an understanding on the living arrangements that is equitable for the both of you. Perhaps one of your requirements is a TV of your own. Be very careful about living with mom without a care contract. Do you have siblings? Many will think you are mooching off of mom, living with her and when her condition worsens and you are expected to care for her 24/7 you will feel mistreated and they will feel entitled. If you aren't retirement age yourself, you need to get a job and take care of your own retirement for the future. If you want to continue to live with mom while you work, you'll have more funds to provide for your entertainment and hopefully the ability to move out if things don't work out. Two months has evidently been long enough for you to ascertain the lay of the land. Imagine 10 to 20 years of this.
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