I am a caregiver for my father who moved in with my aunt two years ago. I have someone come into the house and help my father with his daily activities, medication and feeding tube five days a week. I have been going in twice a day on the weekends. It has gotten to be too much for me. I never feel like I have had any rest. I am single and MUST work full time. I have no life just for me.
My aunt who has always been the "special" one in the family is a difficult person. She clearly has severe cognitive issues and is unable to control her emotions. She refuses to accept help with housework and medical care. Other family members find her exhausting and therefore stay away.
Two weeks ago, she verbally ripped me apart. I was already at the point of exhaustion and responded back by telling her to back off. Typically, I would just get out of the house or hang up the phone when she gets into her tirades. She pushes arguments to the point that the other person is so mad and beside themselves that she starts to laugh and smile. I find it disgusting.
Now, a days I feel a literal knot in my stomach going to my aunt's house to take care of my father. There is minimal family support. Any support has to be purchased (i.e., health assistant).
Last night, I was offering the health aid additional hours on the weekend. During the conversation, I learned that my aunt went off on her and even threatened her with bodily harm. I was horrified to learn my aunt was talking like that to a worker. This aid does a good job of working with the family. I will need to hire more help. I am just not confident that others will be able to stomach my aunt's stuff.
How do you deal with verbal attacks from your loved ones?