My Dad died a week today just trying to cope.

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Hi having been online as my dad had a massive heart attack last week this is the worst time of my life and now having to get back to looking after mum its very tough. My parents were seperated for over 30years he wasnt a great dad but he was my dad and im devastated. His partner organised his whole funeral and treated us like crap it was tough to keep it all together she never even asked us if we wanted to do a reading NOTHING still so hard to digest it all but we held our dignity and kept our cool HOW?? i will never know.
Burying your father is hard not having one single say in it was so cruel and thoughtless on her behalf all her family snubbed us aswell as neighbours etc.. I cant tell any of you just how hard that was we were distraught. But she showed herself up in front of everyone!
Just trying now to grieve my dad AND look after mum I want to run away to have my time my space but will just have to keep it all together.
Really cant cope with mum as shes looking for attention this is tough!

Hugs to you all.xx


I am so sorry for your loss. It seems our community has been hit ny a number of these lately and during this time of year would be especially tough.

Some of us have a hard time coping when nobody else is left to care for, whether it be to placement or death. It sounds as if your dad's partner did the caregiving, or was he healthy until the heart attack?

When my mom's and her husband's times come, I really hope it is something like a heart attack, or stroke. I know this is what my mom would want rather then the long, slow decline of Alzheimer's disease that we are living with every day. Did your dad have other health issues?

My grandfather passes away 50 years ago, at the age of 63, which is so young by today's standards and even then. He had just been diagnosed with parkinson's disease. At times my mom gets terribly distraught because to her it is as if she has been told of the death the first time. When I tell her that her dad had been diagnosed with PD that would have caused him to get very sick and that it is probably best he died so suddenly, she seems to understand. I hope you do not find this callous because it certainly is not intended that way. When it is my turn, I certainly hope it is sudden, not what my mom is experiencing along with her family.

My sincere condolences and I certainly understand the difficulty of to just keep going for your mom. All of us here have tremendous support from each other that somehow helps us to keep doing what we are doing. You will manage, as you always have.
idda let the control freaks have their funeral without you. i dont think a funeral service necessarily shows respect for the deceased, often just a charade for the living. those are just my nonconformist thoughts. good luck to you, it must be a very difficult time.
Kazzaa~I am so sorry for your loss.I wish that step-parents/partners were not so cold toward their spouses children from another marriage. Even though their relationship was not good, they really are selfish in not recognizing the needs of his children. My heart goes out to you. Many Blessings to you!!
(((((((((((((kazzaa)))))))))))) I am so sorry. What a very difficult time for you. I can't imagine dealing with this and also caregiving your mum. Very, very tough! When my dad died, I had no say as mother and sis ran the show. He wanted to see me before he died. I flew east then, and returned home after a few days. He died a few days after that. I didn't go to the funeral - really couldn't afford to in more ways than one. I am glad you went to the funeral and held it together. For years I dreamt that he was still alive.
Please, please look after you. You have some health problems, and grieving is hard work and very physical. You do need some space. Can you arrange any respite? Will sis or bro give you a break?
Big (((((((((hugs)))))))) my thoughts and prayers are with you.
My wish is that your Dad is in heaven, healed of his sins and faults, and is looking down on you with love, as he couldn't during life. I wish for you to feel that love, that no bitchy partner can keep away from you now.
Take care
kazzaaa, big hugs coming your way. Being removed from your father doesn't mean he is not still a big part of you. To read that the now-wife would treat any of the children badly makes me wonder if she took a mean pill. Some people just don't understand life. No matter what, you'll always have your father since he is such a large part of you. Grieve well and go easy on yourself.
Just: big hug. I'm so sorry. Bad enough losing your father without other things to make it worse. Try to give yourself some quiet time. xxx
Kazzaa so sorry... As captain said the funeral is just for show and you showed them what a loving daughter you are..
So sorry for your loss. Sorry you have even more stress on you, I recall you recent post. Keeping. Positive thoughts for you.
Take care

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