A blessing in disguise.

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My mom is in the mid stages of dementia and has a bad hip. I have been very worried about her living alone for some time. A couple of weeks ago she had to have emergency surgery for a hernia and obstructed bowel and is now in a nursing home recovering. What I thought at first was bad turned into a blessing in disguise. Now her Doctor can order home health care to continue to help her improve and maintain her strength and Medicare will cover it! So now when she does go home someone will be in the home with her a few times a week and she will not be all alone all week waiting for me to come on Saturdays. YAY!!!


Cothrangirl, I saw in your profile that your Mom has Alzheimer's/Dementia.

Don't be surprised if you find that once Mom is released from the rehab center/nursing home, that she will now need more care then Medicare sending in physical therapist twice a week for a half hour/hour each time. Medicare will only do that for a short time.
P.S. I just read some of your past postings where you said your Mom has no short term memory plus doesn't even recognize one of her daughters. I have to say this but your Mom should not be living alone.
Um, don't you think that your mom would be better off in long term care with someone looking after her 24/7?
I agree, however I do not have any power to make her move at this point. The nursing home is working with me on possible guardianship etc,. but until that happens it is a relief that if she does go home there will be people there to help.
What people, cothrangirl? The physical therapy people are only there for physical therapy, half hour to hour maybe twice a week.... they aren't going to cook for her, clean her apartment, or help bathe her. Your Mom is going to need more help than 2 hours a week.
You need to talk to the rehab social worker /discharge planner. You tell her that mom lives alone and that the OT must come out to assess the home for safety. When they ask "won't you be moving in to care for her?", the answer is no, no further explanation needed. If they press you you talk about your own poor health and physical limitations). They will figure out quickly that they can't let mom go home alone. If she says "but my daughter will be there" you make sure that they know in no uncertain terms that you will NOT,
You need to get your "Long Game" going here. Don't bring her home. Given her medical and memory needs this is the time to find a care facility for her. The whole "Yay! Medicare is gonna pay for on home care!" Is very short term. The dementia elevator only goes down. Don't get caught in the revolving door of hospital, rehab, home, 911 call, hospital etc. Find a place for her.
Just something to think about: guardianship may give you the legal wherewithal to say where she lives, but it's not going to make her cooperative. Having the foljs, including the doctor at rehab saying "no, it's not really safe for you to be at home"?...priceless. It's not you saying no. Take advantage of this opportunity.

Ok I should have reworded this to "if" she goes home. Nothing is set in stone yet. I have no legal recourse since I have no POA. I have a sister that lives hours away that argues and hang me legally if possible, no matter what anyone thinks is best. My mom has no short term memory outside of routine. At home she eats, she tidies up her house, cleans herself up, gets herself dressed and pays her bills, since she does all of that even Adult protective services will not help. I was just thrilled that if she does go home, if I cannot prevent it, then at least there would be someone in the home a few times a week, even if only for half an hour, to see her. With all the brick walls I have been hitting this is huge to me.
I'd forgotten your previous posts about your sister. Best of luck with this messy situation.

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