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we want to take her to the doctor and she wont go. can we make her she is very mean and says no what to do

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Let us know how things go! Good luck and improved health to Mom.
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thanks everybody for your help. now i know what to do
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Medicare will cover most ambulance services. https://www.medicare.gov/coverage/ambulance-services.html
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Thanks to everyone, and Babalou, for expressing what I failed to say: "She wouldn't let us" sounds really weak in court.... I can see that everyone has this covered with really good advice, so I am going to withhold commenting further.
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Don't touch her leg, you are not qualified.
A caregiver can be brought up on charges for 'neglect' for failing to get the patient needed medical treatment, even when a DNR is in place or the patient is under hospice. (Do not resuscitate does not mean do not give treatment) per Jude.

If the patient has diabetes, this is not an acceptable way to let her die.
I can hardly wait for Veronica and Maggie Marshall to weigh in on this question, because, I give up! Call 911 would be my advice.
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Just another thought, if EMTS come and examine and MIL refuses transport for care, get a written receipt from EMTS (they always give you one when they've visited) that clearly states that the PATIENT refused care although the family sought care for the infection.

My grandmother died of gangrene. It was slow, painful and horrible, so I'm not just talking theoretical here. Folks with poor circulation in their extremities can become very ill very VERY quickly.
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I've heard of people telling loved ones with dementia that they have to see the doctor to get them to sign off on their social security check or some kind of requirement that everyone has to do now. You might say they can fill it out in the ER or doctor's office, but that she has to be present. And immediately get into the car and go there. I would alert the doctor first so they know what to expect. It's one option to calling 911, but that's up to you. I know the ambulance trip can be expensive, but you do what you have to do. You can't just allow a person with dementia to call the shots when they have a serious medical problem that they are in denial about.
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If you can't get the EMTs to come (and I doubt that as in my experience they're very, very flexible, cooperative and concerned), you could pre-emptively act by calling APS and sharing the frustration you feel with attempting to get her proper medical treatment, asking APS to intervene solely for that purpose.

But APS involvement can be a gamble - sometimes they act, sometimes they don't. And you probably don't them involved in any other decisions you would need to make.
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I agree with FF and Babalou. Your MIL really could die from the infection as it could poison her whole system. Call 911 before it gets any further. Apart from the legal implications the guilt would be horrendous.
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I just read your other posts. Call 911. She very much sounds like she's crossed the line into being a danger to herself.
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I'm with FF, call 911. With an elder with Dementia, it should be understood that there is no longer "she won't let us" when it comes to medical care.

EMTS have seen this before. They can be very persuasive. And if they can't persuade the elder to be transported, at least you've shown that you tried.

Something to think about...family caregivers have been charged and convicted of neglect in situations like this. "She wouldn't let us" sounds really weak in court when the elder has died of gangrene or sepsis.
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I noticed on an older posting back in March you mentioned your Mom-in-law's feet were swollen and she wouldn't go to the doctor. Were you able to finally take her?

Since your profile says your Mom-in-law has Alzheimer's/Dementia, it is impossible to argue with someone in that condition, depending on her stage. Sometimes when an elder refuses to see their doctor, we have to call 911 and get the EMT's over to assist.

The EMT's are clever when it comes to getting an elder to come with them to the hospital. They can run a EKG of the heart and mention they saw something they didn't like but it would be best for a doctor to review this immediately. That got my sig other to climb into the ambulance pretty quick and he was of clear mind but had fallen.
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