My 86 year old mother recently fell and broke two fingers. She had surgery and the bum hand, combined with bad knees, osteoporosis, and what we now suspect are Parkinson's symptoms like freezing of the legs and feet have left her unable to stand. This means she must have help getting on a portable toilet seat next to her lift chair. Yet, she refuses to ask for help at her assisted living facility. She basically lied to us and told us the nursing assistants won't help her. She says they're mean and bossy, etc. (which some may be) My wife and I have been taking turns spending 2-3 hours a day helping get her on the potty seat, changing soaked depends, cleaning up soiled clothing, etc.
When we asked the assisted living nurses, they told us my mother tells them she doesn't need to go or she can go by herself when they ask if she needs assistance. She's really pitiful, has use of only one arm, can't stand up, has trouble swallowing. Yet when we try to arrange for help, she fights us at every turn and becomes argumentative. The only people she'll accept help from is me and my wife, and it's wearing us out. I have a full time job and don't have the time or the skills to be a full time nurse on the side. That's why we're paying other people to do it.
Anyone else have experience with an elderly parent refusing help with activities of daily living they are no longer able to perform?