Father in law has diabetes, kidney and liver failure. Congestive heart failure and hes Incontinent. He will lift up his diaper and pee all over himself. He removes his diaper after a bm and smears it all over the place. He gets out of bed when he can hardly walk and I end up coming home to him on the floor naked and soiled the area around him. My boyfriend and I both work full time. We also have 3 children we are taking care of as well. I'm the main caregiver to him as I am home earlier than my boyfriend. We have no one else who will help. My boyfriend was an only child. He's on hospice but thats visit from NA mon-fri. And 1 visit from RN 3-4 times a week. After that I'm on my own. I'm exahusted my house is a disaster I'm becoming skinny because of stress. We want to put him in a home because he requires more care than we can provide but we can't afford a nursing home. We would have to put up our home to cover the cost. He gets SSI but he makes too much for Medicaid. And his insurance wont cover the cost. We have tried getting hospice to help. But hands are tied. They called APS on us because they said we weren't taking adequate care of him. We told them we aren't home all day from the getgo. There is a reason he and I both work full time. I just feel like since his father has been back my boyfriend and I are constantly on edge. Hoping I wont find a 6ft 250 lb man on the floor. Im 5'3 150lbs hes getting to the point where he cant help me get him off the floor I'm scared hes gunna hurt himself because I cant control his actions.

Find Care & Housing
So FIL gets SSI meaning Supplimental Security Income. I doubt if he is making more than the Medicaid cap for longterm care. I am assuming he is on Medicaid for health insurance. The criteria between the two is different.

I would call your Medicaid Office and ask them what the cap is. Also the spend down amount in ur State. If he has any money, you wilk need to spend it down. LTC averages about 10k a month.

If he is under the cap and has no money then he should have no problem with getting him on Medicaid.

I am really surprised that Hospice excepted him knowing no one was there 24/7. What did APS say? They could have had him removed saying you were not able to care for him.

Me, I would have never taken on the responsibility. I am 5ft tall with no strength. Next time he falls, call 911. Do not hurt yourself.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29

He doesn’t make too much for Medicaid. Apply for it now. Medicaid pays for nursing homes and the income guidelines are different than the guidelines for Medicaid health insurance. What he needs is long term care Medicaid. If you take him to the ER, he will be taken OFF hospice. If he goes to a nursing home he stays on hospice.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to worriedinCali

Take him to the ER the next time he has a problem. Tell them he cannot be sent home because you can no longer take care of him. Let him become a ward of the state. Or consult an elder lawyer to see if there is a way he can assist in getting him in a nursing home. You and your family should not have to live with this man.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to UsedupDIL

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter