Stage 6 dementia, no ability to do anything independently, and the one thing that requires ambulation from chair to wheelchair to toilet is becoming way too much, due to incontinence setting in. I'm just cleaning up clothes, chair pads, and wheelchair pads (some washable, some are chucks) every time, despite my best efforts. My LO is entirely dependent on my strength for getting up each time. My body cannot take much more. I don't see where we are gaining anything or even holding steady, because he is fast losing his ability to know left/right and front/back. Just directing him from the bar to the toilet is difficult and sometimes, impossible. I just don't see much difference in sitting in a recliner in one room or staying in bed, at this point. At least, I wouldn't be cleaning everything, all the time, over and over. I know full well that he would just fall within a few days at a NH and no one would actually be taking him, like I am. At least I'd be keeping things clean and keeping him turned in bed and such. Just very physically worn down and I'm struggling with when and who "calls it". Thanks so much.
Let me add-my LO is dealing with a previous, major stroke from years ago and one side of the body has been neglected for quite a while. Makes things much more difficult. Like trying to balance a 160 lb person on feet made of Jello.
When my mom got to this point I considered getting a lift, but ultimately realized it was time for a nursing home. In all honesty when it came to physical care my mom was much better off in the nursing home than with me: the aides worked in teams so there were 4 hands to change and reposition her, the ceiling lift meant that nobody was causing skin shear and tears while struggling to provide care, she got placed in her wheelchair and she was able to go outside in nice weather and attend musical entertainment, and best of all she got a tub bath twice a week, something she hadn't been able to enjoy for years.