My father is 78 years old, and has undergone a horrific medical journey which started the week before Xmas and is still ongoing now. He was living alone and walking with a cane (barely) from a past back surgery. As his condition worsened, we decided to go to the ER (the week before Xmas). That was the beginning of the end. In January, we found out he has bladder cancer. But if that wasn’t bad enough, his journey took many turns which also brought him to two different hospitals, two different rehabs, and now which he is getting treatment for the cancer, has landed him as a private pay resident in long-term care (Temporarily).
Both mentally and physically my father has had to deal with a lot since his cancer diagnosis in January. I’m not sure if he has dementia (doctors say he does) but he has also battled anxiety, depression, and extreme isolation. He has lived alone for 45 years and basically has done everything for himself. The way he used to live it’s not exactly what I would call normal, but it worked well for him and he was happy or so he said. As you would imagine my father feels completely helpless since he's now gone from a 3 BR house and a car, to a single bedroom, no independence at all, and very little interaction despite me visiting him for 3 to 4 hours a day every day.
Eventually I plan on bringing my father to my home to live with me . I’m 51, an only child, married, and my last child is heading to college in August. I’m doing the best I can for him but I have to focus some of my time on getting my daughter ready for college. My father asked very little of me in fact it’s become so isolated that he rarely even expect me to visit although I do anyway . He keeps saying he wants to go home and more-so he wants his car. Both are completely not possible. His house is set high in a hill and it’s not even equipped for a wheelchair (which is now pretty much his main means of transportation.). When he asks about his car, I tell him it’s at safe and at his house but he can’t drive now because it’s just not safe. He sounds completely normal when he tells me that he’s never gotten a ticket (which is true) and he would be careful. How do I get it through to him that he can not drive! I hate sounding like a mom and I hate being in this position to tell my 78 year old father that he just can’t drive..... there are time when his cognitive status is not good, but he doesn’t see that. I feel like I’m holding him hostage. Help please!!!!