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My husband is 60 years old today and he has suffered 2 strokes that has left him with vascular dementia. He is in the hospital right now recovering from below the knee amputation. The other leg was amputated below the knee 4 years ago. He recovered fine with the first one ,but after his strokes even with rehab he became a hermit in the bedroom. My brother and sister in law has lived with us for 2 years now to help care for him while i work a full time job,this is a constant battle with him, he tells them everyday to move out. He has been incontinent since the strokes, unable to prepare meals, or take his meds on his own, he is diabetic and insulin dependent. I no longer have a life, I haven't went to my daughters homes in 2 years. He doesn't want to be around anyone, just go for a car ride.

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Taking him from rehab to a NH is the easiest way. Where I live rehab have a long-term wing attached.
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Have them find him a nursing home that will take him medicaid pending and help you with the application process.
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Thanks for the reply, he does have medicare and he has exhausted the benefits for rehab, they have said to apply for medicaid that's the next step. I am just wooried if the send him home I will have no chance of putting him in nursing home,he will fight me all the way
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As heartbreaking as it is to envision anyone so young in a nursing home I think that the time has come. Realistically if he is mostly hiding out in his room he isn't enjoying any of the benefits of staying in his own home, and with brother and SIL living there I doubt that your marriage is anything more than a shared history. They will be able to take better care of him medically, they may even be able to coax him out of his room to participate in the rest of his life. I think it is time for all 4 of you to restart your lives.
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It does sound as if the care he requires is more than what can be offered at home by untrained family members. Is he on Medicare? I'd suggest you encourage the rehab (post hospitalization) for as long as possible. Watching the staff handle him it may become apparent to you that living at home may not be the best thing for him (or you!)
Have you considered how you will handle the cost of skilled nursing (nursing home)? You might want to speak with the social worker at the hospital to learn more about things to consider. Keep us posted.
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