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She wreaks of urine smell and tells us to get out of her house when we try to get her to put on clean clothes.

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It’s been said here that one solution is to take all her underwear and replace it with adult incontinence briefs. Going “commando” usually isn’t comfortable for older women. I agree that it’s time to put your foot down. Unfortunately, when our parents start acting like children, it’s time for US to become the parents. Sad, but true.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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My son lived out of the country for 2 years. Some of the guys he lived with simply didn't know that they had to shower once a day, minimally (Brazil).

He said they'd warn the guy (these were 19-21 yo young men!) and if he didn't get in the shower, they'd overpower him and throw him in clothes and all.


While I wouldn't suggest that for an elderly woman, the concept is the same. You don't let your kids run around unbathed and stinking for days on end? You just need to be firm and creative with our elders. I know for mother, taking a shower is akin to climbing a mountain. She just doesn't have the energy any more.
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Reply to Midkid58
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If telling her that she smells bad doesn't work then you can try being more demanding which may or may not work. In pops case we use a variety of methods. Force the bathing and clothes changing by demanding he clean up before the television will come on or before the car will work to take him places.
You could also "accidentally" spill a large plastic cup of warm water on her. Apologize and proceed to help her undress so you can get her into dry clothes. If she needs to also bathe which is likely make the spill something like a very strong warm lemonade tea. It will force her to bathe to get the sticky off and also help with the odor on her body, clothing and justify the cleaning of her favorite chair.
Good luck, the hygiene wars are no fun.
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Reply to faeriefiles
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It May be time for threats.

I had this issue (and more) with my Dad. Since he could not drive...I told him there would be no more trips out as long as he didn’t wash and change clothes every day.

as other similar issues started to get worse, I finally had my brother call him. Told him straight out “knock off the sh*t, your behavior is becoming bizarre.....you will be ending up in a NH”. Since it was my brother dropping this bomb, it didn’t come back in my face. It did force him back in his heels and to think about his behavior.

do you have some that can drive this point home?
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Reply to Katiekate
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joannc60 May 19, 2019
Hi Katiekate,
She normally only listens to my older sister who lives out of state. My sister called her and told her she wouldn't be going out to eat or for rides any longer if she didn't change her clothes. My mother told her she didn't care and hung up in my sister's ear. We decided we will now just visit with her but not take her out unless she changes clothes. We aren't going to give in to what she wants.
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