I am so frustrated with my 91y/o mother. She expects to sit in her little grannie cottage we had built for her and be waited on hand and foot. Yes she has been a narcissist all my life.
She has terrible back pain which if she got ahead of the pain with simple Tylenol, and moving around would not turn into the horrible pain she lets it get to. She had a stroke which she uses to play helpless at times, which I see right through. The majority of times it is an act. When we have company she refuses to visit. Then acts depressed because she misses her friends that she refuses to call to visit with. She is capable of living in her little place for now, but I know the day will come when she will need more than I can do. I have help 3 days a week for 3hours which is a blessing. I would like to know from all of you when did you know it was time that a nursing home was the answer. We have cared for her through her fight with cancer for over a year. Then moved her here with us at our after her stroke 7 years ago. I feel guilty even asking the question, but I need to. I know I'm not the only caregiver out there wondering how do you know. Also what do you look for in a facility. If anyone knows publications on this I would read them. I'm not that great surfing the internet. I just need some guidelines to work with to analyze our situation for the future. Thank you in advance for your valuable insight.