My mom is 81 and she suffers fro HP issues, COPD, and a history of mental health issues although it is well under control. She has been hospitalized so many times since she moved in with us in 2012. Mostly due to UTI, Dehydration, is or blood pressure issues. She was in the hospital and swing bed nearly 2 months and got out at the end of Jan. 2018. We are trying and want to keep her at home but I have to admit lifting her is a problem. She can't walk only talks a few steps when PT works with her. Its as if she cant move her legs feet at all most of the time. Just getting her to stand up at potty chair is an ordeal! I end up holding her while trying to pull her clothes up. Its the same getting out of chairs and be. She hunches over and pulls away from you making it almost impossible. She is precious and I want to help her be with us at our home. I also want her to go potty as long as she can but I need to know what to do. Should I push her to do more or just accept it and hold her up??? I need to know when to and when not to.

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Treeartist yes our home is handicap accessible. She has 2 walkers one basic and a really nice one but can not keep her balance to walk with either and she can't seem to make but a few steps at best. We no longer use the regular bathroom. She has a potty chair in her room. She's fine on the psych meds. No issues there. Her mind is clear most of the time. BTW she is my mother in law and I love her to pieces.
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Mom does have HH now. They come once a week. She said I really don't know what we can do at this point. She is doing pretty good just weak. I mentioned my concerns and all she suggested was hospice. Which I just keep hearing but am scared to death of making the wrong decision on this. I spoke with the pt supervisor today to see if she could give some tips and she said she would see what she could do to help. You know she isn't in pain. She is on oxygen 24/7 now and just gives out with just moving it seems. Sats are not always good even with ox 91-94. I am resolved with the fac that she make not walk on her on to the bed or bathroom. The pt and the dr all say she needs to keep moving for her lungs and mobility and yet I am seeing she can't most of the time. Its like she can't tell her legs to move and walk so she dragging them as you guide her then maybe sometimes she lifts them. She leans away from the directions i need her too and I just feel like there has to be an easier way other than a nursing home.
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Hello fajenkins,
In rereading your post, now I understand you are talking about your mother not having the strength. I originally thought this was a cry for help for you not having the strength to carry on. Your description of your mother as “precious” made me smile. I am so glad that her doctors were able to find the proper medications for her mental health issues so her daughter would be able to describe her thus. I know what the family goes through when someone is mentally ill.
My mother was diagnosed back in the 50’s with manic-depression which they now call bipolar 1 and 2. When her medicine is working properly, my mother is precious too and her eyes twinkle.
Now to your question: Is your house handicapped accessible? Does she use a walker? Are there grab bars placed in front of toilet, and to the side, and does she have a contraption with arms that sits on top of the toilet seat? All these things can assist you and your mother so she has more confidence in the bathroom, and you are not having to wrench your arms or back. Ask the PT person to recommend an Occupational Therapist that could teach both you and your mom what you need and techniques to use in order to make the bathroom experience safer and less stressful.
I believe that all the psych meds that were necessary to keep by mother mentally healthy have contibuted to her weight gain and muscle weakness. She is now 86 and in a wheelchair, but is still able to lift herself with these bars to go to toilet or to get in bed. Of course, I say by herself, but she has to have someone with her for assistance and for backup.
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What does her therapist say? Have you discussed this with him?
If I were you I would call and ask to speak with the therapist. Not the assistant that comes out to do the sessions. Rather the one who did her evaluation. Discuss your concerns. Ask if an OT would be of benefit to her to help you with the process of using the potty. He can show you how to hold her and what method is safest for the both of you.
Have you considered Home Health? They could also help you monitor her and perhaps help keep her out of the hospital.
Hospice might be a consideration as well.
It seems you need a little more help than you presently have and it’s good to know where she is on the spectrum. You don’t want her struggling but you need some guidance on what is appropriate.
Does she use oxygen?
If you have an oximeter you could check her O2 saturation and her pulse. It might give her and you a little more confidence that she is ok to move about. If you are on Original Medicare, then Medicare will pay for the HH just as they do the PT. You’ll need a drs order. The HH can help you get that. 
Did she ever go to rehab after any of the hospitalizations?
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You know you have reached your limits when you can't sleep at night, you have bouts of constipation and/or diarrhea, you are tired and weepy a lot, your appetite is off--either eating too much or too little. At that point you look for a nursing home for her or you die before she does.
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